Lately I've been pondering the frustration caused by the lack of "surface information" available to me in daily life. This is a general thing but I must confess that it probably has a specific root...
Girls.
Being flesh and blood and heterosexual in nature, from time to time I find myself encountering what I perceive as beauty and being drawn inexorably in by it (oh come on... how many times has it happened before and I've blogged on it here).
Most men would just go with the internal girly whirly detector in their head... however, I am not most men. I find that I don't have the luxury of just going with my instincts.
Annoyingly.
You see there are two important things you need to know about me in respect of this. The first thing, is that psychologically and emotionally, I find it a little too easy to fall in love... don't ask me why it is... it just is. The second thing you need to know is that I recognise the need for spiritual responsibility and accountability in my own life both with regard to myself and to others.
If I commit myself to a romantic cause of of action (however innocuous), in the past it generally hasn't taken me too long to get in over my head... and I find myself caught in a tug of war between the giants of romantic love and spiritual well-being.
What happens when an irresistible force hits an unmoveable object?
If I go out with someone who doesn't put similar stock in their ethics and beliefs, one of two things (usually both in tides and seasons, depending on how long things pan out)eventually happens:
- I get emotionally attached and conflicted and tend to get melancholic, miserable and spiritually ineffective.
- The other person can't cope with the importance I put on my faith and it becomes a source of friction and argument.
Having this knowledge makes it a great burden for me to carry. I am naturally more acutely aware of it at this time of year as all my hormones tend to kick into overdrive as we emerge from winter.
In fact there are potentially as many as 4 girls (5 if you include Fliss Walton's appearance in this Halifax advert), who I semi regularly run into who catch my eye in this manner... but for the reasons stated above, I won't do anything about it.
When I get thinking like this, I start to think how easy life could be if we were all like the Terminator. No, I don't mean that I'd like us all to be pathological cyborg killing machines. I'm referring to "Terminator Vision"...
Imagine how much simpler the dating game would be if you could just walk into a bar or town square, scan the individuals there... and be presented with a list of pointers with regard to "surface" compatibility with those people (just pointers mind... nothing should take away from the fun and stimulation that comes from getting to know a person one to one). Oh and before you ask... another essential divergence from the Terminator films - we shouldn't have to walk into those places naked in the first instance lol.
If the word "Christian" popped up on any one of those girls heads while scanning.... I'd lock on and totally go for it... but as it stands I'm somewhat of a reluctant hermit.
In fact, whilst I may be joking... we potentially in the future may have this very ability. Advances in the field of augmented reality are bearing fruit along these lines. Last month I read this article in the Guardian. I was particularly drawn to this segment:
"A prototype application demonstrated at the Mobile World Congress in Barcelona in February took things a little further again. Point the phone at a person and if it can find their details, it will pull them off the web and attach details – their Twitter username, Facebook page and other facts – and stick them, rather weirdly, into the air around their head (viewed through your phone, of course)."
Naturally whilst this is exactly the kind of technological advancement I need to overcome my ethical romantic problems... I recognise that the issues of privacy and data protection are immensely important and perhaps this needs to be thought through a bit before we start walking down that road.
Until then, I guess I'm stuck trying to work this out by developing telepathic powers.
nick- i smiled reading this post. not sure if that was the intention, but it was my reaction none-the-less.
ReplyDeleteall too often what i wouldn't give to have terminator vision. if only i could discern in an instant a man's devotion to the Lord. i wonder sometimes if in fact it is a control issue for me, but...that's a story for another time.
if you come across an extra pair of terminator goggles or an eye surgeon who has the capability to perform such a surgery then...i'm in like flynn!
t.
Thanks. It was a light sided way of looking at what is a serious issue for me. It's not so much about control for me and more about accepting my own deal breakers. Truth is I could love most girls... but if they didn't recognise or share the importance of God in my life... they wouldn't be able to cope with me. It would be a lop-sided relationship and ultimately someone would get hurt... and while I think I can handle getting scorched every now and then... I don't like the idea of hardening someone else's heart against God... just because they find my dependence on him hard to bear with.
ReplyDeleteBut I stress this was a fun way of looking at it. Perhaps it is a control thing. I automatically assume that I'm going to get sucked into loving someone after a few dates... but whose to say you can't just "go Dutch", build friendships and then if you discover along the course of a date that the person has faith and you are still attracted to them... awesome!
I think the key is not assuming you are obliged to hand over your heart just because someone asks for it.
No other human being on Earth can tell you who to give your heart to, that's a matter for you and God.
However... just to be sure, I'll be on the phone to Skynet as soon as I can ;-)
when i say control issues i think i'm saying that i lose faith in god's ability to manage the situation. does that make sense? that in the end his will, will be done. that i don't have to worry that much as long as i am staying in tune with him and focused on my relationship with him. can i get hurt, yes. could i potentially hurt someone else, ummm probably. but do i likely get that far in without knowing that someone is a christ follower NO WAY! but i'm not saying that i can't easily drop my heart in someone's hand before i know too well (hence all of my crappy relationship experience--in my defense they all said they loved jesus it just took a while to discern what they really meant). therefore my immediate reaction is to look for a pair o goggles immediately and if they're on sale all the better :)
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ReplyDeleteStumbled across this post and my first thought* was “Oh my goodness – I know exactly how this person feels!” Honestly, it would make things much simpler for my heart if I could see a man’s beliefs, values, and faith as easily as I see his face.
ReplyDelete*Alright, when you mentioned emotions and Terminator-cyborgs, my first thought may have actually been of Doctor Who and the Cybermen. Still…