Sorry if I appear to have been absent for quite some time. Special thanks to Robin for prompting me to action... may God bless you for that... and I hope over the coming days something I type here will carry a word of encouragement or inspiration for you.
I keep meaning to return and post something meaningful, but every time I have reached a point where I feel able to put fingers to keyboard... events overtake me and I find myself facing uncomfortable truths and emotions.
Most recently I've been upset by what I perceive to be a situation where someone has received pearls... and they have treated them like swine. I'm not involved in the situation at all... I'm only seeing it from a distance, but what I have seen disgusts me.
If you are given things you treasure, you don't disrespect them... and you certainly don't show disrespect to the one who gave them to you.
However there's an equally deep and uncomfortable truth that mirrors the emotions I am feeling and reflects another harsh reality back at me. I'm betraying the traits of the prodigal son's older brother again. A fool might argue: if the other person doesn't turn away from their wrongdoing, they are not truly "prodigal"... but I'm not a fool. The older son was lost in his own way, yes he'd been faithful... but he'd harboured feelings of deep hurt right from the day his brother walked out. His own problems did not start with his brother... they came from within.
So I'm wise enough not to point the finger at the other person and yell to God "You've given this person X & Y and they've destroyed it... and I'd NEVER do that, yet I'm still denied... IT'S NOT FAIR!"
I won't lie... yes I've felt it... but that's just emotion and truth is more powerful than feeling.
I know the truth.
I'm also trying to make sacrifices before prayer group on Monday. In the past I went home first... but lately I've felt prompted to go straight to church. This really paid off the other week, as I was given an echo of an image from scripture that I originally received two years ago... and is relevant to where the church is at.
I'm also beginning to feel stirred up about stuff. I keep getting uncanny hints. I recently went to my old vicar's church and was surprised in conversation that things I'd been encouraged to do previously by another vicar, were being reaffirmed by a couple of random people I was chatting to.
The most startling thing occurred this evening as I was preparing to write this very post. I was scouring YouTube for a clip from the movie Excalibur to sum up my return to the blog after so long an absence. I found the clip and one of the text comments left by a user quoted this scripture:
"In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions. The LORD alone led him; no foreign god was with him.
Have I not kept this in reserve and sealed it in my vaults?"
I keep meaning to return and post something meaningful, but every time I have reached a point where I feel able to put fingers to keyboard... events overtake me and I find myself facing uncomfortable truths and emotions.
Most recently I've been upset by what I perceive to be a situation where someone has received pearls... and they have treated them like swine. I'm not involved in the situation at all... I'm only seeing it from a distance, but what I have seen disgusts me.
If you are given things you treasure, you don't disrespect them... and you certainly don't show disrespect to the one who gave them to you.
However there's an equally deep and uncomfortable truth that mirrors the emotions I am feeling and reflects another harsh reality back at me. I'm betraying the traits of the prodigal son's older brother again. A fool might argue: if the other person doesn't turn away from their wrongdoing, they are not truly "prodigal"... but I'm not a fool. The older son was lost in his own way, yes he'd been faithful... but he'd harboured feelings of deep hurt right from the day his brother walked out. His own problems did not start with his brother... they came from within.
So I'm wise enough not to point the finger at the other person and yell to God "You've given this person X & Y and they've destroyed it... and I'd NEVER do that, yet I'm still denied... IT'S NOT FAIR!"
I won't lie... yes I've felt it... but that's just emotion and truth is more powerful than feeling.
I know the truth.
I'm also trying to make sacrifices before prayer group on Monday. In the past I went home first... but lately I've felt prompted to go straight to church. This really paid off the other week, as I was given an echo of an image from scripture that I originally received two years ago... and is relevant to where the church is at.
I'm also beginning to feel stirred up about stuff. I keep getting uncanny hints. I recently went to my old vicar's church and was surprised in conversation that things I'd been encouraged to do previously by another vicar, were being reaffirmed by a couple of random people I was chatting to.
The most startling thing occurred this evening as I was preparing to write this very post. I was scouring YouTube for a clip from the movie Excalibur to sum up my return to the blog after so long an absence. I found the clip and one of the text comments left by a user quoted this scripture:
"In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions. The LORD alone led him; no foreign god was with him.
Have I not kept this in reserve and sealed it in my vaults?"
Deuteronomy 32:10-12, 34
Now I've read that passage before and lately I've been recalling a vision I had years ago of an eagle hovering, stripping it's nest (I'm led to believe eagles do this in order that their young will learn to fly).
I am at once humbled, disturbed, astounded and encouraged by reading that... I consider it a timely word. It reminds me that there are promises out there for me, that God's been looking after me all this time... all this time, and when in his sovereignty he judges the time is right (and God like wizards is never late, he arrives precisely when he means to), everything which he has graciously planned for me, will come.
I am completely reminded that God is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or even imagine... and in the words of Han Solo "I can imagine quite a bit". One can only stand agape in wonder of God's awesomeness... if you could stand at all!
I recall with trepidation and eagerness in the same breath, words that resounded in my heart a long time ago...
"Everything will be given when everything is taken away."
but there is also the reassurance that came in some of my darkest hours...
"Whatever happens, it will be alright."
Time will tell.
