It's Nothing Personal

A couple of weeks ago I was having a conversation with a friend about the way I handle some of the injustices I see in the world around me.

He pointed out that I always take it personally, I always make it about my own issues with life. I believe this a form of what many psychologists would call transference.

It permeates so many of my attitudes in both personal encounters and international politics. It is both a strength and a weakness. It is the former because it reflects empathy, which I believe lies at the heart of loving your neighbour as yourself. However it is also a weakness because if left unchecked, it puts you at the centre of things... which isn't healthy. It also leaves me exposed to attack.

Many years ago, my parents were once told by my art teacher, that I had a very powerful imagination... but that I had a tendency to act without focus, I let my raw emotions and imagination control what I put down on paper. It was a strength because I conveyed powerful themes, it was a weakness because there was so much going on, so many ideas flowing onto the empty paper in front of me; that it was hard to understand the message that was at the heart of my work.

Sometimes more is less and less is more.

It's one thing to be passionate, it's quite another to be reckless and utterly governed by your emotions... and when I see injustices in other people's lives, I am often governed by my emotions.

Conversely when it comes to acting on behalf of myself, I find myself confined by procrastination and inaction.

I need to find balance and refinement.

In my favourite sequence from the film Highlander, Connor (Christopher Lambert) is being taught by Ramirez (Sean Connery). He is taught among many things, that if he overextends his thrust, he becomes off balance and vulnerable. This is exactly what happens with me. when I become emotionally attached to a topic. I throw my weight so readily into the battle, that I leave myself wide open. Sure I score a few mighty blows against what I'm facing... but I'm clumsy and I take a heck of a beating in response.

Ramirez teaches Connor that he must learn to harness his power.

This is something I need to do also.... under God's direction.

I can't go on being all or nothing. I can't just move from procrastination to nuclear assault and back again. I need to be passionate but measured.

Roger Morris once advised me that if I was not careful, I ran the risk of living my life defined by others... and he's right. I need to take on board what my friend said about taking things personally... but I must not assume I am completely wrong... because I am not my friend... I am me. My role and purpose in life is not identical to his. I must not allow myself to be made in the image of others. God has a shape in mind for the man I am to become and it's not the shape of any one person I know.

After all, "love your neighbour as yourself" is the SECOND greatest commandment. The FIRST is to "love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your strength". We need to make sure that God is at the centre and not ourselves, or anyone else.

Jesus had the complete human emotional experience... but never once did any one of those emotions overrule the most important emotion of all... love for the Father.

I intend to touch more on the subject of being defined by others"in the near future. For now though I want to leave you with this thought:

Listen to your friends, and heed their advice, but don't make pleasing them the heart of what you do. Don't lose sight of who and what God called you to be. You can serve your friends and yourself better by making sure God remains at the centre of things. I'm not talking religion here, I'm not talking about merely obeying what your vicar or pastor says... I'm not talking about surrendering your emotions to doctrine like a robot.I'm talking about taking your emotions and thoughts to God and engaging with him on these things. A relationship with God is not about rejecting your emotions and passions... it's about embracing them in the context of his will.

Cobwebs

Right it's time to sweep out the cobwebs and blow the dust off of this place.

I've been gone too long. I've been suffering from a dry spell of late... and I've not been keeping the blog up to date. Sometimes if you just leave things, time moves on around them and they change and move on without you... and they can easily become unrecognisable:

I feel like I've stumbled upon one of my thinking places up Cold Comfort Lane. If I don't go to them for a lengthy period of time, they get overgrown with brambles and I can't use them until they are cleared.

It's a bit like walking back into a church that's been left empty for too long. However, there is a difference between a church that is empty and a church that is deserted. This blog is most definitely not destined to fall into the latter category, not while I still feel it serves a purpose both personally and publicly.

So as we draw nearer to Christmas, I hope to up my work rate somewhat. I need to. I need to get my creative juices in full swing again. I know striving is not the answer... my best inspiration comes from above. However while fire may not come without wind... sometimes you need to rub sticks together to prepare a catalyst for when the divine wind comes. It's not about doing things in your own strength; it's about making sure you are in a position, a frame of mind, to receive what is freely given.

I've had a similar debate about this with people who prefer to remain away from attending church on self-imposed sabbaticals while they wait for revival to come. I maintain that while the race may not be run until God moves... part of discipleship and faithful service to him, is our willingness to be ready. Paul puts it far more eloqouently:

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

So while it's important not to rush ahead and act without God... it is extremely healthy for us to spend time focussing on him, flexing our spiritual muscles so that when the starting pistol sounds, we are off the blocks in the best possible condition. Don't misunderstand me here... I'm not saying we have to slave away or God won't pour out his blessing. We are not the centre, God is... if he needs to do something powerful through us and we still aren't ready despite his prompting, his abundant transforming grace is there for us. My argument is merely that we have the option to choose a beneficial course of action while we wait for God... and not just the freedom to choose a permissive one.

Well, this post was just intended to be a quick wave through the window to get me back into good habits... a toe in the water, but already just the act of sitting in front of a blank screen has borne fruit.

So until next time (and by next time, I don't mean next month), be blessed.

The Wanderer Returns

Sorry if I appear to have been absent for quite some time. Special thanks to Robin for prompting me to action... may God bless you for that... and I hope over the coming days something I type here will carry a word of encouragement or inspiration for you.

I keep meaning to return and post something meaningful, but every time I have reached a point where I feel able to put fingers to keyboard... events overtake me and I find myself facing uncomfortable truths and emotions.

Most recently I've been upset by what I perceive to be a situation where someone has received pearls... and they have treated them like swine. I'm not involved in the situation at all... I'm only seeing it from a distance, but what I have seen disgusts me.

If you are given things you treasure, you don't disrespect them... and you certainly don't show disrespect to the one who gave them to you.

However there's an equally deep and uncomfortable truth that mirrors the emotions I am feeling and reflects another harsh reality back at me. I'm betraying the traits of the prodigal son's older brother again. A fool might argue: if the other person doesn't turn away from their wrongdoing, they are not truly "prodigal"... but I'm not a fool. The older son was lost in his own way, yes he'd been faithful... but he'd harboured feelings of deep hurt right from the day his brother walked out. His own problems did not start with his brother... they came from within.

So I'm wise enough not to point the finger at the other person and yell to God "You've given this person X & Y and they've destroyed it... and I'd NEVER do that, yet I'm still denied... IT'S NOT FAIR!"

I won't lie... yes I've felt it... but that's just emotion and truth is more powerful than feeling.

I know the truth.

I'm also trying to make sacrifices before prayer group on Monday. In the past I went home first... but lately I've felt prompted to go straight to church. This really paid off the other week, as I was given an echo of an image from scripture that I originally received two years ago... and is relevant to where the church is at.

I'm also beginning to feel stirred up about stuff. I keep getting uncanny hints. I recently went to my old vicar's church and was surprised in conversation that things I'd been encouraged to do previously by another vicar, were being reaffirmed by a couple of random people I was chatting to.

The most startling thing occurred this evening as I was preparing to write this very post. I was scouring YouTube for a clip from the movie Excalibur to sum up my return to the blog after so long an absence. I found the clip and one of the text comments left by a user quoted this scripture:

"In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions. The LORD alone led him; no foreign god was with him.

Have I not kept this in reserve and sealed it in my vaults?"

Deuteronomy 32:10-12, 34

Now I've read that passage before and lately I've been recalling a vision I had years ago of an eagle hovering, stripping it's nest (I'm led to believe eagles do this in order that their young will learn to fly).

I am at once humbled, disturbed, astounded and encouraged by reading that... I consider it a timely word. It reminds me that there are promises out there for me, that God's been looking after me all this time... all this time, and when in his sovereignty he judges the time is right (and God like wizards is never late, he arrives precisely when he means to), everything which he has graciously planned for me, will come.

I am completely reminded that God is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or even imagine... and in the words of Han Solo "I can imagine quite a bit". One can only stand agape in wonder of God's awesomeness... if you could stand at all!

I recall with trepidation and eagerness in the same breath, words that resounded in my heart a long time ago...

"Everything will be given when everything is taken away."

but there is also the reassurance that came in some of my darkest hours...

"Whatever happens, it will be alright."

Time will tell.

Not All Differences Should Be Tolerated

Normally it's an arrogance to assume your own culture is superior to that of another.

However there are exceptions.

I should explain...

Recently I've been giving thought to the recent tragic death of Gayle Williams - a charity worker who was based in Afghanistan. The Taleban took her life because they believed she was spreading Christianity.

Militants have been targeting Christians in the country for some time, but what makes this especially tragic is that they are so blind to the good in others (probably wilfully blind), that they can't see beyond their hatred of what is different.

It doesn't matter that Serve Afghanistan is committed to helping disabled people in Afghan communities... all they could see was that this lady was different because of her beliefs... and for some crazed reason... that was justifiable enough reason in their sight to kill.

And that ladies and gentlemen is why I believe in this respect, our culture IS superior. We would not tolerate the killing of anyone on the basis of their belief... we find the very idea disgusting. We have seen what racial/cultural intolerance can do when left unchecked... how many millions died in the last century because of the ideals of a few insane people? These thoughts are not far from us as we prepare to commemorate the price paid to rid the western world of such tyranny, over 60 years ago.

Some people say we have no right sharing our differences with others in their own country and should respect the local culture without trying to impact upon it... yes, there is a valid point there... to a certain extent.

Except for one thing - nobody has a right to restrict an idea or a philosophy by an imaginary line around a patch of land. Every human being has the right to decide to believe as they will... it's not something that governments or militias should have any say in whatsoever.

I have a friend who is currently doing aid work in another south-east Asian country, and she lives under the shadow of being exposed to these potential dangers every day. So naturally this is a concern for me.

Some countries such as North Korea even take unspeakably revolting steps to prevent access to positions of faith that differ to that of the State... or punish their own people for daring to believe differently... and this is unacceptable.

It's a far cry from the kind of comfy world that we in the West are used to, where our governments responses to other cultures is to accommodate and assimilate (sometimes at the expense of what we might perceive our own heritage to be).

Personally I think everyone on the planet should be allowed to propagate their own beliefs and opinions so long as they don't conduct a "negative campaign", that is to say... adopt the tactic of attacking another person's culture. I certainly don't think the Early Church did that. I believe it's primary tactic was to emphasise the merits of living in Christ.

I know some may be reading this and thinking that those who are "foolish" enough to subscribe to a belief system can't complain when someone with a strong disagreement comes along with an objection... and to them I say, take the log out of your own eye - that's your own prejudice telling you that...and the sooner you wise up to it, the better off you'll be. This isn't something that is restricted to religion, faith and belief.

How many things - be they sublime or ridiculous, are people prepared to hurt or kill others over?

One of the darker aspects of human nature, is that when we are gathered in sufficient number, there is a temptation to view the smaller different groups with disdain, disgust and even hostility.

But we are better than this... we don't have to accept this stupid animalistic side to our natures... we are something better and nobler - all of us... and if half the world needs waking up to that, maybe that's something we need to look at.

But not through the crosshairs of a weapons periscope, or down the barrel of a gun.

Feral

I'm sorry that I've been absent for some time.

I'm not that productive at this time of year, I really do struggle. I somehow think I'm supposed to hibernate from the end of October to the end of February.

Do you think I could persuade my doctor to sign me off sick with "hibernation"?

It's got to be worth giving it a go!

Can you imagine? A quarter of a year off work spent in bed because the Doctor says you have a justifiable medical need for it.

Anyway aside from all this, I've found myself in a bit of a wild state. It seems that apart from trying to fend off the lethargy that comes during the winter months, I'm getting overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions.

I find this quite strange because I'm sure my head should be winding down from stuff like that now... not cranking it back up!

Perhaps it doesn't work like that. Maybe we don't fade up and down with the seasons... perhaps we hit erratic highs and lows while we slow down in Winter or speed up in Spring.

All I know is that at the moment I'm really sensitive to stuff.... positive and negative. It's not leading me anywhere dodgy or bad.... but it's there all the same, my feral side - the part of me that reacts instinctively to the situations and emotions I'm presented with, and pays no heed to any ideas of analysis or procrastination I might normally subscribe to.

Oh well, I'm just going to enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts and milk it for all it's worth.

God bless

N

Moving Swiftly On

As you may have gathered, yesterday was pretty intense and my post was verging on primal.

Since that time, I've had opportunity to reflect on the things that have hurt me and think I have found a way of coming to terms with the things that irritate me and as a result, I'm more philosophical about going forwards.

I was sitting in my car and praying about my feelings, my attitude and the events and actions that led up to them. I suddenly became aware that there is a lesson to be learned here... I've learned it before in another area of my life.

It's the lesson of letting go.

In surgery there comes a time when those operating have to agree that the battle is lost and continuing is a waste of resources. Similarly, while saving the past is a noble pursuit... it must not be done at the expense of the present or future. God knows I have a stubborn streak running right through me. Is it just stubbornness though... or is it actually arrogance? When everyone else walks away, I remain... because some part of me thinks I can hold the centre.

But is it actually my place to hold the centre?

No it isn't. This is riding a dead horse. If I keep devoting my energies to people who have disappeared over the horizon, I'm not going to be able to be there for the people who are to come... and I'm going to burn myself out.

I learned this many years ago in respect of relationships... and now I realise it's equally applicable here.

Let the dead bury the dead.

That's not to say I will slam the door on people who have come and gone... it just means I have no need of their approval... and I'm not being held back any more.

You see it's occurred to me, this is just another step on the road I'm travelling... a necessary one. When I go to Israel next year, who knows what I'm going to discover? One thing I do know though... if I go out there still looking back, I'm going to miss the moments.

In fact, that is just as true now... isn't it?

So onwards I travel... and no longer shall I let my gaze linger on the road behind me.

Now is it just synchronicity that "The Times They Are A-Changin" is playing on my Last.fm radio.

Doldrums

I've had a pretty uncomfortable couple of days.

Forgive me for what is going to be a little history lesson but thinking back, I believe it all started while I was meeting a couple of friends, who during the course of conversation were putting forward the idea of a reunion of sorts. This reminded me of a time when I was let down bitterly by many good friends. We used to meet and have a reunion once a year in the pub... but this started to become impractical and I organised a meet up at my own home. Despite people's promises and the effort I put in, almost no-one showed up... most painfully of all, it was some of the people who I am (maybe I should say was) closest to, who let me down... and I haven't forgotten.

You know it is remarkable how self-absorbed people can be... it really is and it is getting to be ridiculous. People always come to me with problems they want to share, or prayer requests... and yet on the rare occasions I go to them with even the slightest concern, they start rubbing their chin like a dodgy plumber and coming over all "tricky, could be tricky... not sure I can fit it in really".

The truth is that people when they get their slice of pie on this Earth, can be very neglectful of the friends they leave behind. Yes I know people have other commitments... but to completely shut out those people who have helped contribute to who you are today? Disgusting. I mean take for example when people return to town after a long time away... do they ever bother to ring or text for a night out? No.

They have forgotten.

I think what really hurts though, is to see people enjoying the things you can only dream of... and then on the odd occasion when they stuff things up or need help, they come to the one person whose plate is practically empty to ask for bread.

It's been rough... I had a bad Monday at work, and I'm being faced with an overload of people celebrating their own blessings... whilst I'm feeling somewhat of an outcast/exile. I think this is all being exacerbated by a change in the seasons... and I'm sure these feelings will pass. However even if they do.... will the reasons for them also disappear?

Unrequited love is a terrible thing... but how much worse is unrequited friendship?

Dangerous Conversations and 70's Cheese.

I decided to enter this post to lighten the mood a little after my recent critical response.

There are certain things you should NEVER say to me in conversation. This has nothing to do with things that anger or upset me... and everything to do with my loopy imagination. One such topic came up in a discussion at work on Thursday.

We were talking about potential inspiration for this year's Secret Santa and was recalling the exploits of one of the auditors who dived off the roof in order to retrieve a heater that had err... fallen down onto the roof of an adjoining shop (yes I do realise how that sounds). I jokingly suggested that a good suggestion for him, would be a Spider-Man costume...

...and then it happened.

It was revealed that the fiance of one colleague works in a warehouse that supplies fancy dress costumes... and every so often the returns department have a clear out and dish out free or discount costumes.

That my friends is a classic example of the kind of thing you should never say around me... because I was already at this point imagining myself in costume stalking the office to the funky but cheesy theme of the 1970's live action Spider-Man television series that starred Nicholas Hammond.

I have fond memories of that show. When I was a child, I loved it because I thought it was cool. Looking back on it now I love it because the acting, the choreography and effects look so cheap. It falls into the "so bad that it's brilliant" category. Here are a few classic examples of what I'm talking about:

Seriously... you've got to love it. It's totally caught up in the 70's obsession with Kung Fu. The wire work is that bad it looks like he is Moonwalking up the walls. Then there's the seriously malfunctioning Spidey Sense. Not only does he not have precognitive warnings of imminent danger... he actually doesn't even appear to notice said danger until a few moments after he's been hit (the tranq dart in the arm in China being the prime example). For that matter... what's with the tranq darts? Apparently back in the 70's villains and goons were jolly decent and didn't use weapons that might actually kill people, they just doped them up with tranquilisers.

What a fundamentally better world we would live in if criminals were like that today... just drugging people unconscious instead of killing them.

But it was a family show... we are talking the 70's here - pure funk! We are firmly in the era of the "non-death", the philosophy that would eventually culminate in 80's classics like The A-Team - where crack commando units shoot bullets at people's feet and miraculously miss, heroes use cabbage bazookas to defeat gangs armed with M16 machine-guns... and villains can blow up in horrific helicopter crashes, only to emerge from the blazing wreckage with nothing more serious than a sore head that they rubbed.

Forget realism... these shows were pure Tom & Jerry action and we loved them.

So when you mention the idea of getting fancy costume on the cheap to me... you'd better watch out! You just don't know what kind of creature you might be unleashing...

Back to Church Sunday: The Prayer Book Society

I stumbled across a letter that was published in today's local paper and I felt a need to respond to it. It seems to have been sent as a press release across the country, so you are bound to have your own version of it. Before I comment on the letter, I must first quote it's contents in full:

THERE are of course many and various reasons why some people stop going to church, but for thousands of people across the West Midlands the problem is that they can no longer find familiar services at a convenient time on a Sunday.

Research shows that many people gave up attending church regularly when modern services started to replace the traditional.

Back to Church Sunday, on September 28, is the perfect chance to re-connect with the rich tradition of our church’s heritage.

At the Prayer Book Society we work to promote the Book of Common Prayer which dates from 1662 and is still the bedrock of our nation’s church.

I hear from many people who really miss the Prayer Book services they know and love. However, in fact there are a lot of cathedrals and churches still using them, and our website is a good place to find those in a particular area. The online directory is available at www.pbs.org.uk

Prudence M Dailey (Miss), Chairman, Prayer Book Society, The Studio, Copyhold Farm, Lady Grove, Goring Heath, Reading RG8 7RT

I agree with Miss Dailey's initial point, many church services do seem to have been put on at odd, inconvenient times; this does not reflect the needs of modern society.

However, that is where she and I will now part company.

She claims that churches go into decline when modern services replace traditional ones... she refers to research but doesn't quote her sources. In fact, there is probably some truth to what she says... but I hardly think the research to which she refers, backs up her argument. Older churches are in a period of decline... but people aren't just disappearing off the radar. Many people seek out churches that they find are more relevant to where they are. The relevance they seek can be in terms of worship style, times of services, the kind of fellowship offered by the churches in question and the kind of teaching and pastoral care that the churches offer.

Back to Church Sunday is next Sunday... but it is NOT merely a "perfect opportunity to re-connect with the rich tradition of our church’s heritage".

It SHOULD be the perfect opportunity for the People of God to go out and find out what they can do for their communities. How can they help the back-slidden, the lost or those in hardship. I strongly criticise anyone who intends to use the occasion as an attempt to assert their own ideas of what church should be about on others. This should not be political.

I also strongly question what Miss Dailey actually is claiming the rich heritage of the church is. She points to the Book of Common Prayer as the "bedrock" of our church. With respect I would make the counter claim that the bedrock is actually The Bible. Anything of worth within the Book of Common Prayer, finds its roots in God's Word.

I am not attacking the Book of Common Prayer and I don't deny that there is some beautiful language and theology inside it. I also understand that it is Miss Dailey's job as Chairman of a society that champions the book, to defend it. However the simple truth is, that if the Book of Common Prayer completely fell out of usage, it would not be the end of Christendom. The source of everything Christianity holds dear is found within the Bible. Every piece of litany, every word of liturgy, every song, every doctrine every poem every hymn that has any worth or value within our churches... finds it's roots in scripture.

That is not something that is restricted to a single 17th century book. We have 2,000 years of books and expressions in other media to explore... and most importantly we have the Bible.

Dailey claims that Book of Common Prayer services are generally marginalised to early morning services. This may be true, but it is my personal experience that the people who value these services most... are the only people actually capable of being up at the crack of dawn anyway.

It is extremely important for Christians to make their faith their own. They need to claim it for themselves and make it active. I love some traditional hymns and even some traditional services, there is a time for them. The reason I love some of those older traditions is precisely because I had the freedom to explore my faith with language styles and cultural references I held dear. If you force people to accept your own idea of how God should be worshipped and don't give them room to breathe... you choke them.

I totally accept that some people need structure and routine in order to get fed... but we need to maintain variety. If we build the church in our own image, we commit idolatry. We need to make sure people who don't respond to heavily formatted services that are full of litany; have THEIR opportunity to be fed. That doesn't mean banning Book of Prayer services, it means making sure we are diversified enough to reach out to everyone who is willing to come.

Again, I must stress that I am not attacking the Book of Common Prayer... I am attacking the idea that worship should be constrained to a particular format. Naturally, I am younger so my bias is towards more open worship... but in fairness it must be said that I would not wish to force my own brand of worship on everyone else. I recognise that my preferences are as limited as the next persons.

So what is my conclusion at the end of this?

I believe that if you are reading this and you are a Christian... have a good think about what you can do to make your own church community more responsive to the needs of the people around it. How can you make it more accessible for others? Can you hold informal services or "drop in days" during the week for people who aren't comfortable with a formal service? Can you invite someone who you wouldn't normally expect to find in church... someone who isn't in one of your usual cliques?

If you are reading this as someone who has lapsed in their faith, has no faith but is curious, or has a need that maybe should be taken before God in confidence, then seek out a church. If you find it's not to your taste, don't just give up and assume they are all the same... have a real good luck -find one that suits who you are. If you are really stuck, maybe you could try these websites:

http://www.achurchnearyou.com/
http://findachurch.co.uk/home/home.php

I hope when next Sunday comes, it is a blessing to you... whoever and wherever you are.

Science and Wonders

According to a report in Thursday's Guardian newspaper, Michael Reiss, the Royal Society's Director of Education has encouraged the idea that teachers should tackle the ideas of creationism in the classroom, alongside evolutionary teaching.

I find his comments extremely interesting. Reiss has a foot in both camps, he is both an ordained minister... and a Professor of biology. He is yet another example to us that science and faith do not have to be enemies. I especially find the background story to his statement intriguing. He used to teach evolution quite brutally, but has understood that respecting where people are at is an important aspect of helping them take on board new ideas. This is an attitude I think both believers and unbelievers... indeed all human beings need to take on board.

Diplomacy is not just required international politics, we need to be respectful of other people's personal sovereignty. You wouldn't walk into another country and tear apart it's political infrastructure just to make it look like yours. That is how wars, and violent insurgencies start. The best way to make people open to your arguments is to be virtuous towards them and to show them the merits of your position without directly assaulting their own.

The antithesis of this position is perhaps demonstrated by one of Reiss' critics, the physicist Dr John Fry. Fry responds in the same article by saying:

"Science lessons are not the appropriate place to discuss creationism, which is a world view in total denial of any form of scientific evidence"

and:

"Creationism doesn't challenge science, it denies it."

Fry has set up a straw man argument. He is making the fatal assumption that creationists all believe the world was made in six days. I have pointed out several times in this blog, that the document that provides the basis of that idea - The Bible, in it's original Hebrew does not restrict the Genesis account to a literal six day occurrence, nor does it require a belief that the Earth existed before the Sun.

I think some militant atheists are guilty of jumping on the Genesis account purely because it provides them with an easy and a lazy excuse to justify their position. If they can easily dismiss the idea of God, then they can stay in their comfortable, cosy shell and not have to face the challenge of differing views.

I changed my position on Creation because I was willing to listen to my opponents, reflect on their arguments and redefine my own beliefs and ideas based on my increased knowledge. Ironically it is about evolution. You find yourself faced with something that threatens your position... and you either adapt to move beyond and overcome it, or you concede defeat and are eliminated - survival of the fittest. I chose the former.

That said, I do in some ways agree that the science room may not be the best forum for this debate. While I do believe it is necessary to create a crucible where students can air their theories and philosophies on how we got here... perhaps it's best to create a separate subject or discussion group for this.

However I also fundamentally believe that it is not the remit of Science to peddle atheism. Science should be about understanding the mechanics, systems and wonders that enable our universe to operate and thrive in it's magnificence. The deeper philosophical truth of how those processes were put in place and who or what put them there, is a question for every individual to discover for themselves based on the things they learn scientifically, theologically, philosophically, spiritually and emotionally.

There must be balance and there must be freedom.

Spore is Coming

I'm eagerly anticipating the release of the video game, Spore:

Basically the game entails creating and nurturing a species from the cellular level as a microbe, and guiding it through it's development and evolution to a creature, a tribe, a civilisation and eventually a space faring race. I've already been busy at work creating a whole gallery of strange beings:

Visit Spore.com

I know what some people might be thinking - "Nick you are a Christian! Isn't this game a bit dodgy?"

Well the first thing I have to say in response to such a question is that... it is just a game.

However, the creators of Spore also went to great lengths not to offend/isolate customers who subscribe to religious belief. They felt that if they were going to be realistic about the development of civilisation, they had to include religion... because the fact is even if you are an atheist, you live in a world that has been shaped by civilisations who did believe in God/gods. They deliberately leave the question of who or what created the universe, open (although in essence, you play a godlike character in how you relate to your creation). It is true that the game relies on the mechanics of evolution... but given the nature of the game, that is necessary; besides, as I have mentioned before, there are several different ways to look at the Creation account, without having to strictly adhere to a literal six day theory.

Intriguingly, the only group of people who have taken real issue with the game, are not theists... but atheists. I should clarify that I am referring to militant atheists and not merely people who don't believe in God. Militant atheists are those people who cannot tolerate the idea of open religion of any form - it must be silenced and kept within the place of worship or home. They simply do not understand that by peddling their world view in this manner, they are nothing more than "pots calling the religious thinkers' kettles black". They need to learn that they have to tolerate people of faith, in the same way that religion has learned to tolerate them.

So when they make silly statements about removing religion from what is little more than a fun computer game... we do well to ignore them.

I'm just looking forward to September the 5th, when I can get my microbe going and see how long it takes me to get him exploring the Spore galaxy... interfering in the development of other people's species. I actually get the impression when you reach this level, you can interact with the species on another planet... so I'm guessing that means you can try and help other players develop... or have a go at wiping their fledgling tribes out with laser beams, or perhaps introducing a non-indigenous species which would wreak havoc with their delicate ecosystem; although both these ideas which seem a little harsh to me, I much prefer being the benevolent sort.

However, I'm quite sure that I won't be among the first to go interstellar. There is a highly morally dubious practice among some gamers, who pay people in poorer developing countries, a pittance to go online as their character and level up quickly. This is known in the gaming community as "gold-farming", and it is on the rise.

I'll just be happy to get out there... among the sea of stars, before someone comes along and toasts my cute bug eyed monster!

If you are out there, I'll look you up one day!

Evolve or Die

I think it's high time I shared something with you, that I've kept reasonably close to my chest for some time now.

I've been making plans.

Earlier in the year I had some discussions about which way forward I should take my life... and there were a couple of surprises in there for me, I can tell you.

Anyway, suffice it to say... I was advised that I needed to go on a completely unjustifiable adventure (at least in terms of rationalisation). You see, due to a couple things that happened in my distant past, I developed into an individual who shunned risk as much as possible.

For a Christian though, this is something that doesn't add up... and should be faced.

We are told in one of Paul's letters that:

"For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

2 Timothy 1:6-7

Furthermore, we are we are both encouraged and warned that:

"We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Saviour of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

1 John 4:13-18

So it is clear that fear is an emotion that we must take every opportunity to overcome. It's okay to have fears... but it's not okay to let them have mastery over your decisions. Jesus said you cannot serve two masters... and although he was referring to money on that occasion, the same is true about anything that comes between us and God, for God is love... and you cannot serve both love and fear.

So we come to the crunch. I've always been an expert at self preservation, one severe example is that I won't fly because I'm scared about putting my life in the hands of another human being and a glorified tin can. Recent tragic events both at home and abroad would seem to justify this philosophy... but then:

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done."

Matthew 16:24-27

Oh dear!

It kind of leaves me in a pickle doesn't it? What is more, as I said in the previous paragraph... this one is a biggy for me. However I truly believe if I crack this one... it will be a major step in living a liberated life.... unencumbered by worry or fear of failure.

The passage from Matthew sounds a little harsh... it's almost worded like "give me your life or I'll take it from you." The truth as always is a little more deeper than that - does the man drowning in quicksand feel threatened by the man shouting at him to grab his hand if he wants to live? No.

You see the truth is, we are designed for a life with God... not just with him alongside or above us... but actually actively at work within us. Whilst our stubborn desire for independence, interprets Jesus' challenge about losing our life, as restrictive, or a threat; if we paused for a moment and were honest, we'd realise that actually "losing" our life liberates us in so many ways. You might think that without God, you are flying, but sooner or later you'll discover the hard way... that you were actually doing nothing more exhilarating than falling with style.

It's quite a culture shock when you feel like you've been trapped in a prison cell with many locked doors... and after begging and pleading for God to open one of them, you catch a glimpse of your jailer and discover that the person who had kept you locked in all along, was yourself... and God was the one who was pleading with you to wake up and get out of there!

When I talk to people who have been missionaries in a foreign country in service of God, I'm always quick to spot a recurring theme in their testimonies. Nearly always, the person speaking talks of finding themselves in a place of fear and inadequacy. Eventually, that which cripples them... forces them to turn to God... because that's all they have.... but what a resource to have. Paul in his letter to the Ephesians describes God as being able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. He even goes as far as to say that this power is at work in us.

However if we want to receive God's power, we have to recognise that we are actually powerless ourselves.

Last year, I quoted a Spider-Man tale called "The Other", and spoke of how it referenced a Chinese philosopher who posed the question of whether a man was dreaming of being a butterfly or a butterfly was dreaming of being a man? At first I took my feelings toward that, as just being about calling or vocation... but it's more than that. I felt drawn to buy the graphic novel and go through it... and it has proven a source of inspiration to me. A subtitle to the story is "Evolve or Die." In the plot, Spider-Man is slowly degenerating from a mysterious illness. Nothing works and eventually his impending death is accelerated by a vampire-esque enemy who maims him and pretty much pounds him to death...

... but it is not the end.

Peter Parker finds himself in a dream where he is confronted by a personification of the source of his abilities. This character rebukes Parker for accepting the obvious gifts he was given... without daring to dig deeper and find out just how gifted he was, how much potential he had for more. Parker embraces "The Other" and is returned to life completely healed (he had been in a web cocoon up until this time, as his body was renewing itself), and with exciting new powers (which were foolishly retconned out of existence by Joe Quesada).

Anyway... as Peter Parker (mis)treated his powers, we can be the same with God. We can take what he gives us naturally accepting the odd supernatural kiss... and live our lives with only a deposit of our true potential. We need to embrace the source of our power - the Holy Spirit.

So I'm going.

Boarding a plane will put me in that powerless place (albeit for about six hours a go). I've gone as far as booking a holiday and setting myself an objective while I'm out there. I've even got myself a passport.

Maybe deep down, you feel the same... you've got a fear, a worry or a burden that is holding you down... and you know that you are in the quicksand. You are finally in a place where you need to act... where you either continue as you have always gone about things... and eventually falter, fall and die; or you choose to turn around and embrace God in a new and exciting way. What that means for you personally, I leave to you. It may mean coming to faith in Jesus for the first time... it may mean taking your existing faith to a new level.

Whatever it is don't just leave it.

God bless

Nick

Personality Check

I'd forgotten that some time ago, I had joined Youniverse, a website that enables you to assess your personality by choosing images in response to questions that are posed within online quizzes.

Having been away from it for some time, I was drawn back by a recent feature on BBC's Webscape programme on their website. Well it wasn't long before I got hooked into having a go and I was seriously surprised to see that some of my attitudes that have been subtly changing over the past year or so... are really beginning to shine through. Here are some of my results:

Back

I've been silent for some time... but far from idle.

I've been away at Scripture Union Camp but have since returned. To be honest I'm still gathering and processing my thoughts in the aftermath of what I perceived to be an extremely powerful week. I've had plenty of sleep since getting back... first night home, I slept 13 hours straight (more or less). I think I'm having trouble adjusting to my adrenaline levels returning to normal, as I still feel like a lump of lead.

Strangely,many of the people I have been away have come down with some kind of stomach bug... and I've noticed a lot of the people around me are in need of a friendly ear... so I'm not going to waste my current state of wellness.

Returning to the "real" world has been quite harsh... it always is when you have been in your element, the emotions that are churned up again raise the questions of "who or what are you?" and "what are you going to do?"

It's especially hard when you have a natural affection for many of the people you meet and work with, particularly when it's with God's people and expressly and exclusively for God's purpose. There's a lot to pray about at the moment... but I want to sign off tonight, by thanking those who have known my movements and have kept me in their thoughts and prayers... it was most definitely appreciated and noticeable.

May God bless you all.

N

Roboboy - The Post Modern Pinocchio

There's an advert that is being shown early in the morning just before I set off for work. It's worth a mention because it's a really good one... it sets me up for the day; which is more than I can say for the Omega 3 egg advert or the Slim Fast "Fruity Tootie... Now My Jeans Fit My Booty" song which just filled me with feelings of intense rage. I'm not going to link to either of those adverts... I would save you that pain.

No, the advert I am referring to, actually is really rather heart warming and it touches the part of you that is forever young... that part deep inside ourselves, wants to go out, play and have adventures. It's Persil's latest advert entitled Roboboy:

It's obvious inspiration is Pinocchio, the wooden toy who wants to become a real boy. The advert speaks to me because I've known all about embracing the outer robot for quite some time... and during the last year and a half, I've felt the call of the world outside the door... the inner child. At the moment, I actually think I'm standing on the threshold of the door; I've set a few things in motion... that I probably can't turn back from. Somewhere in the wuiet confines of my soul...a personal revolution is commencing.

It also occurs to me that this advert has a deeper more spiritual significance. As human beings, God always intended us to be children of abundant life... but somewhere along the way, through sin and strife... we stumbled and created ourselves a harder, cruder pale imitation of God's plan for each one of us... all of us.

The first instance of this in the Bible, is when Adam and Eve having tasted fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, try to cover up using little more than shrubberies for underwear... not the greatest fashion statement. After God has convicted his two creations of their rebellion... what does he do? He clothes them with the hides of animals (presumably the human race caught on).

Whether you take the Adam and Eve story as literal or not, isn't important to the lesson to be learned here. The point is that we stumble... but God is there. We try to cope by wearing a hedge, when God longs to wrap us up in a warm robe. We hide in the robot... but God calls the boy. God wants us to live a life more fruitful... one in which we can experience the abundance of everything he offers:

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

John 10:10

Adam and Eve's clothing came at a price (one that they did not have to pay), the price was the life of an animal.

Similarly, this abundant life - the transformation from robot to man, also comes at a price... and again it's a price we don't have to pay. The cost was paid on the cross by Jesus. He died that we might be set free from all our wrongdoing... and came back to show us that we don't have to be robots any more.... we can come outside and play with him... and be transformed into what God always wanted for us... the very best he has to offer.

The question is, are you going to stay inside your skin of steel... or do you want to come out and play?

Sinflation.

I'm not an economist by any means; I won't pretend that I have the business acumen or fiscal skills of a major league stockbroker.

All the same, something doesn't quite add up to me; it never has.

Politicians and powerful businessmen always contend that in times of severe inflation, it is incredibly unwise to give workers a pay rise that enables them to cope with rising costs. They argue that doing such a thing merely forces inflation to increase even more.

At the risk of sounding like a complete fool, I'd like to partially challenge this assertion. It's true that the cost of essential resources such as gas, oil and electricity is going up (latest estimates have it at about 60% by the end of the year), that I wont dispute.

However, merely allowing people to pay for natural price rises, doesn't really increase inflation... it just allows people to keep up with an existing inflation rate that won't go down until the cost of resources falls.

I think they are attacking the wrong part of the equation. You see what I think happens after the public's pay is increased, is that greedy executives decide that now people have more money... they can push them even harder in the hope of improving their profit margin.

Simply put, in a relatively stable economy, sky-rocketing inflation is largely caused by insatiable greed.

Greed is most definitely NOT good.

But perhaps for some, it could be said that greed is god.

Nobody is saying it is sinful to make a profit... but as human beings, we should seek to make our fortune with integrity, decency and goodwill to others.

Jesus once said:

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

Matthew 6:24

In fact, it is recorded twice in the gospels. What Jesus was expressing here, is that if we don't make ourselves accountable to God... we become accountable to lower things. You can't put God on a par with anything else in your life, it just doesn't work.

We live in a generation that has all of a sudden largely decided that it has "outgrown" God. That belief in God is nothing more than a quaint commodity... and as the love of God decreases, the love of money is increasing. The apostle Paul picks up where Jesus left off and continues the cautionary teaching:

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

1 Timothy 6:6-10

But love of money isn't the only problem.... because that usually only affects those who actually have it. There is also the worry of money. Bills rise and wages remain static... and the average man in the street is left wondering if he is going to make it through the year without being financially crushed. Well, Jesus had several things to say about that too:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labour or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

and:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

It's relatively easy to talk about turning all your troubles to Jesus, but I appreciate it's no easy thing at all when you are stacked with mounting bills.

And this is why the pendulum swings once more towards who have been blessed with material wealth.

In the Early Church, the believers followed a simple way of life. As the book of Acts records:

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favour of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Acts 2:42-47

Idealistic? Maybe by the world's standards...but as Christians we re not called to live by the worlds standards... and we should take hold of this idealism and live it. I and adhered to. firmly believe we should try ans embrace the same principles those early believers stood for

Several hundred years after the events recorded in the Bible, a man whose name I share, took three bags of gold and according to legend... discreetly dropped them into the house of a poor man, in order that his daughters could get married. That man came to be known as St. Nicholas, and we celebrate his kindness very year at the time of Christ's birth (whose nativity was the beginning of the greatest act of kindness ever).

Maybe those stories are a little old and archaic... the world's moved on Nick... remember?

OK, what about the 1990's? During the last recession, there was a village in Scotland which had a local economy that was largely dependent on the fishing industry. As economic gloom began to take hold, jobs were lost and the whole village began to collapse.

Then the church came along.

The local church began to use it's (admittedly not massive resources),to employ local men who found themselves out of work. Oh it was only small jobs at first... but somehow people found their bills payable and the village was saved... and pews were filled with people who had seen the kind of love the church can demonstrate... if only it were willing.

So the choices are simple:

Do we embrace or do we exploit?

Do we rescue or do we turn away?

Do we love our neighbour as ourselves or do we just love ourselves?

Do we worship God or goods?

One final sobering point on inflation... while we bemoan our current financial hardship and economic troubles, it is worth remembering and reflecting upon the fact that the people of Zimbabwe have had inflation of 2.2 million % compared to the UK's relatively meagre 3.8% and we don't live under the law of violent oppression either.

So while we feel the pinch, let's not lose perspective.

A Right Old State!

I thought I'd entered a parallel dimension a few days ago.

The newsreader moved onto a story concerning Lady Thatcher and the fact the Government has rubber stamped the idea of giving her a state funeral when she finally departs this mortal coil.

Then I discovered that... no this was in fact reality.

I can't believe it. Irrespective of what your political leanings are, I don't think Thatcher ticks enough of the right boxes to have this honour afforded to her.

I am strongly of the opinion that state funerals should only be awarded to people whose contribution to the nation's welfare (be it military, social or economic) is so unquestionably recognised from every quarter, that there can be little room for dispute.

Churchill ticked that box, so did Wellington... so did Nelson.

Margaret Thatcher is anything but that.

She has split people right down the middle. If you think you can find a miner or industrial labourer who'd support the notion of a state funeral, I'd be highly surprised.

I actually think it's foolishness to commemorate the life of Lady Thatcher in this manner. I think it will bring out the worst in people. The likelihood is that the many people who would be angered and hurt by this decision... may hold a macabre festival of their own. I can see people celebrating her demise in an inappropriate way in a counter establishment response.

You may be reading this and thinking of doing that very thing - and as much as I disapprove of Thatcher's style of Government, I could never agree to such a thing.

But you see... I think I have this figured. There's one reason why a "Labour" Government would approve this.

It is a reason that I find even more gut churning.

When the rough beast that is Tony Blair ends his days (if that is even possible), they will be clamouring for exactly the same thing... and that would be equally wrong, if not more so.

Conservative or Liberal?

You’ll notice that as of yet on this blog I have not made a big thing of the current divisive issues being fought over within the Church of England and the wider Anglican Church (principally the role of women and gay priests).

This is by no means an accident, for I do not intend to. This blog is called a Sanctuary for a reason. It’s a port of call, home away from home for diplomats, hustlers, entrepreneurs and wanderers...

oh no... wait a minute, that’s Babylon 5.

All joking aside, I designed this site to be a place of peace: a relatively benign entity in cyberspace; a place where people could come and share their feelings and thoughts, without harm of persecution. When you chance upon these pages you come to a place that honours the ancient traditional rite of asylum. I may disagree with you, but I will never bite you for what you say.

I have left my political views equally ambiguous on my Facebook profile as well. If we must invoke concepts of conservatism or liberalism to describe our position, we had better gain a proper understanding of what they are, or we are all going to become unstuck.

I’m going to use the ancient art of sword-making as an analogy.

Sound pretty bizarre?

Bear with me.

Through the ages, the design of swords have changed and evolved to suit particular needs. Some civilizations favoured a curved blade with a soft edge which was excellent for cutting, but it wasn’t very hardy and if you tried to repeatedly block your opponent’s attacks with the blade, it would soon deteriorate and break. The reverse was true of other civilizations who favoured a hard edge and a straight blade. The weapon was extremely hardy and good for defensive parrying, but it was not as efficient on the attack as it lacked a cutting angle.

Then, the Japanese made a major breakthrough -the sword of the samurai.

A Samurai Sword

This weapon was refined and folded many times over and it also had another unique feature... a blade that was soft at the front and hard at the back. It took the best of both concepts. Today, if you shoot a bullet directly at the cutting edge of a samurai sword held in a clamp, the bullet will split in two leaving the blade with the slightest of nicks, ready to be used again.

I believe the same applies to the principles of conservatism and liberalism. If you dedicate your personal doctrine solely to conservatism, you won’t get very far. Defensively you’ll have a strong moral foundation that can withstand the fiercest assault. However, if you try to evangelise using the hard edge of conservatism, people who deep inside themselves already feel lost or condemned will feel awful and become defeatist... they will walk away from the gospel feeling judged. Jesus was rightly critical of the Pharisees for this very reason. On the other hand, those who are confident of their own moral compass will shut their ears to any positive message you may have and stir up nothing but trouble... denouncing you as self righteous.

Similarly, if we choose to use liberalism as our sole doctrine, our message may well be appealing and crowd pleasing, but it will fail to be challenging. There is a very famous saying... God loves us as we are but refuses to leave us that way. If we broaden the boundaries of what is acceptable in God’s site, without his consent... how will people be convicted? How will they be able to sense their personal hunger and thirst for righteousness?

I’ve always favoured an alternate view... but it is not centrist, or at least I do not consider it to be, Rather than mix conservatism or liberalism together, I prefer to take the best from both camps.

Righteousness might be our protection, but it is love that is the soft cutting edge, it is love that is our offensive weapon... and what a weapon.

I prefer to try and live my own personal life along the lines of a fairly conservative outlook (and I am by no means a success at this).

With regard to others, I try to use every opportunity to demonstrate God’s love and grace in a liberal way ( I am by no means a great success at this either).

I think I’m right in saying that Jesus always demonstrated his love, always fulfilled a need, always forgave... before telling any person not to sin any more.

And this is my point. If we aren’t liberally loving people (irrespective of what we might think of what they do), we are shutting the door to the Kingdom of Heaven in their face. Likewise if we aren’t at least trying to live our own lives in a way that aims to be pleasing to God... we fail as Christ’s ambassadors to let our light shine before men.

We should preach the good news, we should preach salvation... and demonstrate the fruits and benefits of righteousness by living in the Spirit... but there’s a catch there isn’t there? It is far, far easier to tell someone how to live... than it is to demonstrate through your own life; which is precisely why Jesus taught us the importance of removing logs from our own eyes before removing the specks from others.

Our priority should be introducing people to God - the Holy Spirit is a far better force for conviction than you or I. Sure, people will always need strong pastorship... but we need to make sure they have a relationship that warrants pastorship before we dare encumber them with attitudes and principles that we know are impossible to live by without the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Let me put the attitude I think we should be demonstrating another way. The French playwright Albert Camus once described friendship in these terms:

“Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

I think that’s my attitude to faith and evangelism. We don’t boss people about and forcibly lead them where they will not go by choice, nor do we compromise on what we believe God lays on our hearts in terms of righteousness and lag behind.

No.

We owe people our honesty and we owe them God’s love.

We need to have the assertiveness of Joshua that says you can go your own way, but I’m going to serve God... and then we love them regardless of who they are, where they’ve been, or what our own prejudices tell us about them. We don’t just need to love people; we need to genuinely love them with abundance.

I think one of the best summaries I have ever heard for living with a Christian attitude, is a phrase uttered by the American preacher Tony Campolo who has stated that he believes we should be as conservative as God’s Law and as liberal as God’s love.

I could go on with regard to some of the issues raised at the moment, my feelings towards what I regard as inadequate descriptions by the media of where various groups stand... or even a cautionary tale about what happens when people from any particular camp start imposing their own will on God’s church... but I’ve said quite enough and do not wish to detract from anything that has gone before.

Doctor Who: The Stolen Earth (SPOILERS)

So we near Journey's End:

If you missed the episode... what do you think you are doing reading this article???? Follow this link if you need to see the episode, or want a recap. Sorry folks I think the BBC iPlayer will only work in the UK.

I really loved the way we were thrown straight into tonight's episode.... and with a relentless pace that just carried right on through to the dying moments.

I also loved the welcome return of so many old faces. You get the impression from all that went on, that we only have half the pieces to the puzzle... that there's a lot going on we don't even know about yet.

I get the impression that next week's finale is either going to be very very good... or very very poor. It obviously looks like there is going to be a regeneration... but as Mark Twain said: "Never make predictions... especially about the future". The ending interrupted the regeneration process, which left us in the annoying position of having a triple cliffhanger.

Rumours are rife... not least because David Tennant is reportedly staying on for at least four specials. Some have speculated that the regeneration will be botched or different. One outlandish theory has suggested that the energy from regeneration hits the Doctor's severed hand (kept in a jar by the TARDIS console), and causes it to grow a new 10th Doctor along with whoever emerges from the proper regeneration. You can see the start of the regeneration sequence in the clip below:

My suspicion is that whatever happens, the device that Martha holds... the Osterhagen key, will be some kind of Deus Ex Machina... something that will alter the events that lead to this regeneration being altered. However, I hope in some ways that I am wrong... because that would make it all too similar to last years conclusion... and Doctor Who is not Dallas. It shouldn't rely on everything always being... just a dream. By the way "Osterhagen" is an anagram of among other things, the phrase "Earth's Gone".

For an atheist, Russell T Davies seems to explore the idea of sacrifice and resurrection quite a lot... he's done it a lot in Doctor Who, as you can probably tell from other episodes I've blogged about. Let's see where next week takes us.

So the big questions then:

1. What is going to happen with this regeneration?
   
   
2. Will Sarah Jane, Ianto and/or Gwen survive?
   
   
3. Just who or what is inside the Supreme Dalek?
   
   
4. What other effects has Caan's trip to the timelocked "Time War" had?
   
   
5. What is the Osterhagen Key and what will happen if it is used?
   
   
6. Is someone going to make a supreme sacrifice (certainly seems possible given the title)?
   
   and...
   
   
7. Most importantly all... did anyone try and contact the Doctor using 07700 900461?
   

*UPDATE* as of Sunday 29th May

Well, here's the trailer for the final specially lengthened episode... but it doesn't really give much away:

If you think you know what is going to happen,I'd love to hear your comments.

A Time To Be Meek And A Time To Be Bold

I read a very interesting story about Alexander the Great in my Bible notes the other day.

Apparently Alexander prided himself on allowing his subjects to visit him and make requests. On one such occasion, a pauper came to him to make a request... nothing unusual in that. However this man didn't just hold his hand out for alms, he stepped forward with a shopping list that included farmland, a dowry for his daughter and a scholarly education for is son. The court waited nervously... surely this man would be executed... or at the very least, thrown in jail for showing such impertinence.

However, that is not what happened. According to the tale, Alexander acceded to every wish. After the beggar jubilantly left the palace, Alexander's servants began to express their shock at what had transpired. When asked why he had acted as he did, Alexander shrugged it off by saying "I get weary of these people who come to see me in their shoals asking for a gold piece. That man treated me like a king. He asked big!"

We can come to God in much the same way... but hold on... didn't Jesus say something quite different? He once told a parable:

"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'

"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Luke 8:10-14

I don't think these stories are contradictory... even though one is biblical and the other is not.

You see... Alexander's beggar wasn't exalting himself; he was recognising the exalted nature of his king.

The crucial thing to remember whenever we pray, is that we should be centring our thoughts and petitions on God... and not ourselves. When we approach God knowing our need of forgiveness, we must not become obsessed with our failings to the point that we refuse to receive God's mercy. The tax collector knew how bad he was... but he also knew the only person who could change that situation was God... so that is who his prayer focused on.

You see in his own way, the tax collector was very bold. He knew his failings, he knew the penalty of his failings.... yet he went before God anyway. He didn't wallow in self pity (for this in the end just leads to a never ending cycle of repeating the same mistakes - take that from someone writing, who has had experience in such things).

Unlike Alexander's beggar, the tax collector didn't seem to expect anything... he just hoped God would hear him and grant mercy.

Maybe you are reading this and you feel you are in the same position. How can God forgive you for what you have done? Do you prefer to hide it all away and just take it for granted that you are doomed?

There is hope.

God sees the genuine nature within our hearts. If we sincerely regret what we have done, we can have confidence that he will forgive us.

We must be meek enough to realise what we have done is wrong... and bold enough not to withhold ourselves from God... we must have the courage to come forward and ask forgiveness. It needn't be in front of an altar...you can do it just as well in the privacy of your bedroom.

And when we come to God with petitions... if he is at the centre of our requests, we can have confidence in his power to provide. We forget too easily that God is the ultimate resource. We prefer instead to struggle on in our own vain strength.

Yet as Paul prayed when writing to the Church at Ephesus... God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or even imagine.

Jesus himself told his disciples that God responds to shameless audacity (as long as it is not selfish), that he longs to give us good things, and yet like the prodigal son we squirm around in the mud looking for pig slop.... when if we only lifted our eyes... there lies a banquet for us.

God did not put a Spirit of timidity within us. I am utterly convinced that big things are coming in this generation... but we need to wise up, we need to wake up. We need to be prepared to ask for God's empowerment if we we truly want to be a part of hi wondrous plan.

We need to get real. We need to stop being selfish and doing things in our own strength... we need to remember who we work for and that we can ask boldly for his power to be at work in us.

Lets conclude with the words of John Wesley, from his hymn And Can It Be That I Should Gain? In the final verse:

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach the eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach the eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.