I have finally returned from my all too brief sojourn in London... and what an interesting time it was.
Whilst on a tour of Parliament I decided to lay hands on the debating dispatch boxes and pray over them. Fortunately I was not arrested.
I have always been wary of city folk, largely because I see high concentrations of people in a confined area as a recipe for disaster... and I'm also not too happy that cities leech off the less well developed and more remote settlements around them, whilst expecting the same operational rules to apply.
The truth is thought that my problem is not with people from the cities, it is with the infrastructure of cities.
Either way... Friday night was a real eye opener for me and I have to express my sincere gratitude to my sister and her boyfriend Ron - for letting me stay and for letting me partake in a small slice of city nightlife.
I feel like I have been hoodwinked... not by the city, but in general, by people my own age who are around me every day. Truth be known, for nigh on twenty years I have been scrutinized, assessed, weighed and judged by people: geek, dork, nerd, nutter, weirdo, immature, nice guy but best kept at arms length.
Whilst on a tour of Parliament I decided to lay hands on the debating dispatch boxes and pray over them. Fortunately I was not arrested.
I have always been wary of city folk, largely because I see high concentrations of people in a confined area as a recipe for disaster... and I'm also not too happy that cities leech off the less well developed and more remote settlements around them, whilst expecting the same operational rules to apply.
The truth is thought that my problem is not with people from the cities, it is with the infrastructure of cities.
Either way... Friday night was a real eye opener for me and I have to express my sincere gratitude to my sister and her boyfriend Ron - for letting me stay and for letting me partake in a small slice of city nightlife.
I feel like I have been hoodwinked... not by the city, but in general, by people my own age who are around me every day. Truth be known, for nigh on twenty years I have been scrutinized, assessed, weighed and judged by people: geek, dork, nerd, nutter, weirdo, immature, nice guy but best kept at arms length.
I thought that socially, they were the norm and that I was some kind of aberration.
I was wrong.
In the city I found people joining in with my random humour, walking up to me and chatting to me casually and genuinely accepting me without any hardship or need for any initiation beyond mere introduction. In two hours, they gave more than 90% of the people around me have given all my adult life.
I feel galvanized, I feel stronger. When people look at me with disdain now, I'll be able to remind myself that it is they who have the problem. I have risen above the clouds and seen the sky full of stars. Whether they know it or not, what they have been trying to do all this time, is keep me in check... make sure I comply to types of socialising that they find acceptable.
I am not who they think I am... nor crucially am I who they make me out to be. So now I ask myself... who is really afraid: me or them? It's them isn't it? They fear a person they don't understand and so instead of trying to be decent human beings and diversify, they try to ridicule me... not for my faith... but simply for who I am. There is a word for that, it's called bullying.
The rules have changed.
If they have a problem with my personality... that's their problem. Now I know there are people out there who can take me at face value... so why should I fear small minded fools who object to anything that isn't a clone of their behaviour?
Sorry if this sounds a little angst ridden. I actually feel a little betrayed, a little deceived and most importantly a little liberated. Hopefully tomorrow, when I have more time I'll fill you in on a spot of preaching I did yesterday at church on the subject of The Good Samaritan and timidity.
I was wrong.
In the city I found people joining in with my random humour, walking up to me and chatting to me casually and genuinely accepting me without any hardship or need for any initiation beyond mere introduction. In two hours, they gave more than 90% of the people around me have given all my adult life.
I feel galvanized, I feel stronger. When people look at me with disdain now, I'll be able to remind myself that it is they who have the problem. I have risen above the clouds and seen the sky full of stars. Whether they know it or not, what they have been trying to do all this time, is keep me in check... make sure I comply to types of socialising that they find acceptable.
I am not who they think I am... nor crucially am I who they make me out to be. So now I ask myself... who is really afraid: me or them? It's them isn't it? They fear a person they don't understand and so instead of trying to be decent human beings and diversify, they try to ridicule me... not for my faith... but simply for who I am. There is a word for that, it's called bullying.
The rules have changed.
If they have a problem with my personality... that's their problem. Now I know there are people out there who can take me at face value... so why should I fear small minded fools who object to anything that isn't a clone of their behaviour?
Sorry if this sounds a little angst ridden. I actually feel a little betrayed, a little deceived and most importantly a little liberated. Hopefully tomorrow, when I have more time I'll fill you in on a spot of preaching I did yesterday at church on the subject of The Good Samaritan and timidity.
Till then, keep safe and God bless you.
Nick
nick don't you think you're being too harsh..
ReplyDeleteit is more of exaggeration..
I agree with you whole heartidly. I have felt the same way in my own life. I say you go with what you feel and I will stand here and cheer you on! Go Nick!
ReplyDelete