It is Accomplished.

Today, the people of Alcester bade farewell to the Reverend Richard Dobell... as I said in an earlier post, he was perhaps the town's favourite adopted son.

I wanted to record my thoughts from the day, both for personal memory and on the off chance that anybody who couldn't make it on the day who stumbles upon my blog... has the opportunity to get a feel for the events as they happened.

A requiem service had been held the previous evening, which I attended. I almost didn't get there on time, but fortunately I experienced a minor miracle (God quite literally fiddled some traffic lights). We shared communion and poignantly, I was told that the amount of wafers used tallied exactly with the number of people present - the bishop taking the service did not have to consume any extra. During that night, Richard's body lay in state.

I decided to get to the church early this morning... rumour had it 1,000 mourners would attend and having known Richard as a friend of my family since about the age of 10... I wanted to make sure I was inside the building, should it get busy. With about an hour to go, people flooded in and packed the church out... standing room only.

Shortly before 11am, the muffed bells stopped ringing and the Rector - David Capron, read a personal address from the bishop. There was then silence for two minutes.

After the first hymn, there was a reading from the apocryphal book of The Wisdom of Solomon. some people might frown at that because it isn't in most translations of the Bible. However it was markedly poignant because it addressed ideas that many skeptics present in the room, might have been considering:

"But the souls of the righteous are in the hand of God, and no torment will ever touch them.

In the eyes of the foolish they seemed to have died, and their departure was thought to be a disaster, and their going from us to be their destruction; but they are at peace.

For though in the sight of others they were punished, their hope is full of immortality.

Having been disciplined a little, they will receive great good, because God tested them and found them worthy of himself;

Those who trust in him will understand truth, and the faithful will abide with him in love, because grace and mercy are upon his holy ones, and he watches over his elect."

Wisdom of Solomon 3:1-5, 9

The first thing to touch me personally was the next reading. I had felt in my heart God saying "Do not be anxious, do not let your heart be troubled" about a week and a half ago... about various things in my life - sadly I had not been good at that... but the reading from John 10 started with the second part of that phrase... and so I was reassured that God had not abandoned me to be angst ridden psyche.

The next part of the service was the eulogy, given by Reverend Andy Shearn (who was also the former headmaster at Alcester Grammar School, where Richard taught).

He did a great job.

Nearly all his words were taken from personal observations of Richard at school, or from his wife Jan... and much of it was made up of Richard's own words at various assemblies. Richard's spirit was eloquently captured in everything that was said. In a previous post I said of Richard:

He never took himself too seriously but always made sure the seriousness behind the message came across. He always left the stage leaving people with something to chew over... but never gave it to them in a painful manner.

Death it seemed, proved no exception to this. People were laughing at some of the more humorous anecdotes and warm memories... and yet equally, there were moments of challenge. Richard, just before Easter had spoken of Christ's suffering.

"The trouble with resurrection, is that you have to die first."

He had recounted the pain that Jesus went through prior to the first Easter Sunday... and then he had told the students gathered the reason why:

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

John 3:16

It seems deeply relevant to me, that Richard shared in Christ's Passion in a special way. By openly talking about these things, he then demonstrated them. He was a man who genuinely wanted the best for the people he met in his daily life, and for the students who learned under his tutelage. He was passionate about his beliefs and in his death, he found away to demonstrate the importance of that faith to many people. Reverend Shearn repeated the challenge that Richard had given during that speech... that Christ had gone through so much for all of us, so that we could be reconciled with god... and all that was required of us was that we accept it and believe. Richard's question was simply:

"Do you believe?"

I wonder how many will have asked themselves that very same question simply because of Richard's testimony in life and death? To see a man meet the end of his physical life, absolutely certain about his eventual destiny (not out of arrogance but out of blessed assurance), surely that must have inspired people.

We then sang "O Jesus I have promised". The first verse raised a personal smile for me... because when we sang the line "I shall not fear the battle if thou art by my side", all I could see was the picture I had described to you the other day: Richard clad in tin hat, dustbin lid and bent sword whilst preaching on the full armour of God. Then I nearly choked up in verse 4 and here's why:

O Jesus, thou hast promised

to all who follow thee

that where thou art in glory

there shall thy servant be

The reason I nearly lost it was because it was those words that I had shared with you on Saturday, when writing about Richard and Selwyn Hughes being men who were still very much alive in the presence of God... and as I said, I don't believe in coincidence. I have felt very recently that the veil between Heaven and Earth has drawn thin indeed. In the past I have believed and known about life after death... but at the moment I feel it. It seems very much to me as if a window has been left open and I can actually hear the party going on in the unseen room next door.

After the prayers and a rousing rendition of "Thine Be the Glory" of which I am sure Richard would be proud, we sat down and listened to a cheerful rendition of "In an English Country Garden", a tune that Richard often played on the piano at our house. One couldn't help but share a bittersweet smile as the music played.

Finally the coffin was led out, followed by the family... as the church organ rippled gloriously through a plethora of lively and swift chords. Testimony to a wonderful musician, it seemed that even the ancient keys and pedals of that instrument, that for so long had shared an almost symbiotic relationship with Richard when he had been organist... wanted to grieve and say farewell in their own way... the only way they knew how - in awesome and wonderful symphony.

The full scale of the event was revealed upon leaving church. Not only was the churchyard full to bursting, but people lined the High Street as far as the eye could see. They had come to say farewell to a deeply loved and wonderful individual... who has returned to the God who graciously gave him to us - undeserving as we were of such a blessing.

Jesus Christ, despite having his years cut short by crucifixion, lived a full life and in the end he had done everything he was supposed to... this is one of the reasons he cried out "It is accomplished." So despite Richard's years being cut short, I recognise that his life was a fulfilled one... and that he did what I believe he was supposed to do (how many of us I wonder, can say the same of ourselves?), that is why I gave my post the title of Jesus words on the cross "It is accomplished."

You may be interested to know that the full text of the eulogy for Richard Dobell is now up at the St Nicholas website... and you can find it by following the linked text in this sentence..

Rest in Christ Richard - well done good and faithful servant!

And as you said so many times to so many of us on so many occasions...

"Peace be with you."

Personal Reflection

Several recent events in my life have caused me stop and think.

I've recently learned of parallels between my life and that of somebody else, that I was not previously aware of. It has caused me for the first time in a long stretch... to seriously ask whether or not I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. The last time I really felt this way, was back in 2005 when I attended a confirmation service at Coventry Cathedral. I saw something that has remained with me to this day.

A young, bald vicar who sported a goatee was standing beside one of the candidates he had brought with him from his church, to be confirmed. At one point this vicar stretched his arm out slightly above the candidate and turned his head to face them... in a pose very reminiscent of the Argonath from The Lord of the Rings. I remember feeling particularly inspired by this.

I'm not a fan of the clergy as an institution... but I have respected and been deeply fond of many of them as individuals. In fact I can say that I wouldn't be the person I am today without the inspiration and advice that God blessed me with through a few of them.

During my childhood, a lot of people assumed I would grow up to be a vicar myself... because faith is so important to me. In a way I struggled with that because I always felt that acting out your faith should be the status quo. Just because somebody is zealous about their spirituality, it shouldn't mean that they have to become a minister, pastor, priest, vicar, monk or whatever... faith and spirituality to me, are the natural state. We should all be passionate about what we believe. I've always remained apart from the idea of joining an official ministry in an attempt to illustrate this truth to other members of any congregation I'm with. I agree with Alastair that there is a latent, subconscious conspiracy between congregations and clergy that results in too much emphasis being put on ministers. Sometimes congregations don't want to get involved in the spiritual life of their church and expect their leaders to do it all for them... which is an unfair burden to ask of anyone. Sometimes, ministers accept to readily social privileges that come their way because of their position and standing. Either side can be at fault. The Bible says that we are one body, with many parts and that Christians are together after all a royal priesthood. We should all be doing our bit... As Paul* taught:

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load." Galatians 6:2-5

We - each of us, should do the work asks of us... for it is our personal load. However when we see someone struggling because they have taken too much on and are burdened... however important or trivial that person may seem to either our own perception, or that of the church... we should be prepared to step in and offer our support - because that is the way of Christ. We ALL need to do this.... not just leave it to clergy. The only thing that should determine whether or not you become involved in the official ministry of any denomination... is the calling that God places on your heart... that's it.

However, at times like these I do wonder whether or not I am doing the right thing... I ask myself, should I become a part of the system? Am I serving God best where I am... or should I sign up? Certainly at this time, Richard's passing has been a catalyst for these thoughts. I am genuinely uncertain as to which way I should go.

I've also been reflecting on other areas of my life. Things have happened to me recently that beg me to question, whether my past attitudes when I have been keen on a girl... have somehow come back to haunt me? Is the boot on the other foot?

You see I was never good at taking gentle, subtle hints from a girl if I was keen on one. I was a romantic... I used to believe that it would all turn out right in the end. I wore rose-tinted spectacles... and I used to emotionally hang on long after the time was right to move on. That could be if I just fancied someone... or worse if I was actually in a relationship.

Hopefully I've learned my lesson.

Even so, I do fear that I may be reaping what I have sown... that I may in fact be on the receiving end of the behaviour I used to exhibit. One thing I know about myself... I may be stubborn, I may take a lot of convincing, but once I have made my decision... I stand by it. I move on and I never go back over old ground. If the ship has sailed, it will not return. I do not become enamoured by the same girl twice.

All in all a lot to think about.

Prayers and thoughts would be appreciated.

Blessings

N

*I know Jenni has a different interpretation of the context of this passage, but both are acceptable and theologically correct... and this way round is appropriate to the message I am bringing on this occasion.

Funeral for a Friend

I've been noticing in my web statistics that a lot of people are hitting my blog, searching for news on Richard's death.

In the hope that anybody reading this is a friend or former student of Richard, wishing to pay their respects; I thought I could help by letting people know about the funeral details.

The service will begin at 11am, this Saturday at St. Nicholas Church, Alcester. Attendance is expected to be extremely high, so the service will also be relayed outside through loudspeakers.

The town will likely be swamped with traffic and I have heard it said that some of the local schools will be opening up their car parks in order for people to be able to park.

In the coming days, I hope to link this post to any obituaries or biographies that are out there. Perhaps if you have seen any, you could advise me or leave a link in the comment field.

Also, I would be honoured if people want to use this place... any of the relevant entries to post their own feelings, memories and thoughts, for others to read.

Update as of 25th April 2007:

There is now a group on Facebook that you can join, where people have been sharing their personal memories... it is open to anyone. If you wish to be a member of the group, please follow this link.

Update as of 29th April 2007:

Following the funeral, the full text of the eulogy for Richard is now available at the St. Nicholas church website. If you wish to read it, please follow this link.

Update as of 1st May 2007

Text of brief letter/tribute published on the Alcester Grammar School website. If you wish to read, please follow this link.

Obituary found on the Redditch/Alcester Standard. To read this, please follow this link.

The Living and the Dead

If you visit regularly, you will probably have noticed I have changed the characteristics of my blog. I have darkened the main page colour to black, as a mark of respect. It isn't permanent... and I expect I shall return to the tried and trusted bluey purple once matters in the near future draw to a conclusion.

Yesterday, whilst posting about the death of Richard, I created a prayer and I said the following:

"May the seeds that were sown through Richard, not fall on barren soil. May the hearts that heard him speak your Word... respond to it."

I thought little more of it until this morning. It was then that a Bible study, written by another man of God who is no longer with us (Selwyn Hughes), struck me. The passage in the study came from John 12:2o-36... and this bit really jumped out me, I think you will immediately see why:

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!"

Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it, and will glorify it again."

Isn't it amazing that matters concerning two dead men, converge with my own thoughts in a moment of bittersweet beauty... to remind me of a poignant truth?

Selwyn Hughes must have set this scripture down for today,some time ago. You might call it a bizarre coincidence that my thoughts when concerning a dying friend, wandered to that same passage... and that on the following day I read it. However, I don't believe in coincidences.

I also don't believe either Selwyn Hughes or Richard Dobell are truly "dead", in the context that men understand that word:

"Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me."

These two men served Christ, he was with them as they walked among us... and now they are at rest beside him, as he guides and strengthens us on our own personal journey. We should not look among the dead for these men... for in a way we have yet to fully comprehend or experience for ourselves, they are very much among the living.

I believe we shall see good seed flourish. I believe God is at work in our hardship and grief as well as in our happiness.

I truly believe it.

Blessings

N

P.S. as a side note, I feel it worth mentioning that if you feel a need to start using daily Bible notes, I can heartily recommend Every Day with Jesus. I tell you in truth, there have been many times when the passages selected... and the commentaries written by Selwyn Hughes... have been exceptionally relevant to me personally. It really has been uncanny... and I am of the persuasion that you might find the same level of personal relevance should you use them.

A Prayer for the Dying

By the time you read this post, a close friend of my family and a good man of God, will have had his life support ventilator switched off. Richard went into hospital earlier this week to have a benign tumour removed... sadly all did not go well.

Last night, there was a gathering of many townsfolk in the church. They gathered for one reason and one alone... to lift Richard - our friend and theirs, up in prayer.

We first knew him through his role of choirmaster and church organist... and he quickly endeared himself to our family and the people of this town with his wonderful eccentricity and his zest for life. They say it takes a generation - 20 years, for the traditional folk of Alcester to truly accept an "outsider". If there is truth in that statement, then Richard was surely the ultimate exception. I would argue that he was perhaps Alcester's favourite adopted son. People knew him for different reasons - be it through his profession as a music teacher, or his involvement in the church... but everyone loved him for the same reasons.

In more recent times, Richard married and joined the clergy. He didn't really take many of the services at my church, in fact I believe I only managed to attend one service he took at Great Alne... but what a service it was. You could say many things about his preaching and leading style... but the one thing you would never be able to say... was that it was boring. Everything was magnificently manic and full of life.

I'll always remember the Alpha Course session he led, on the nature of good and evil. He dressed up in old school props to demonstrate the full armour of God. He used a bent fencing sword, a dustbin lid and an old air raid helmet amongst other things. Everybody in the room was in stitches. Yet, just 5 minutes later he recited a heart rending true account about the aftermath of a bombing raid. He described the carnage, the pain and the grief... and the whole room was in agreement with him about how terrible it was. And then he asked the people in the room - most of whom were old enough to remember... just where they though these events had taken place: London? Birmingham? Liverpool? Coventry? No... it was Dresden. I loved that moment because he affirmed everything I believe about good and evil - that we as humans often view evil subjectively... we fall into the trap of assuming our country is unquestionably correct on most matters, because it is "cultured" and democratic, but really you could call it a form of nationalistic arrogance. It was good of Richard to pooint it out... as only he could. To be honest, I don't think anyone else could quite have got away with it.

That was Richard to a tee. He never took himself too seriously but always made sure the seriousness behind the message came across. He always left the stage leaving people with something to chew over... but never gave it to them in a painful manner.

And so this blog entry is my tribute to him... my prayers go out to his family and friends... and I hope, if you feel willing or bold enough... that yours will too.

Father I give thanks for your servant Richard. I thank you that he has touched many lives in the brief time he was with us. I pray that you welcome him into your loving arms... a good and faithful servant. May you keep his family safe in the palm of your hands, by the power of your Holy Spirit. May they be comforted in their hour of need. May the seeds that were sown through Richard, not fall on barren soil. May the hearts that heard him speak your Word... respond to it.

May he be remembered on Earth... and welcomed in Heaven.

In the name of Jesus

Amen.

As a tribute to Richard, who was both a man of music and man of faith; I have provided a link to a piece of music on YouTube which made me think about him this week. It is an orchestral rendition of music from The Mission. I feel it is appropriate as it is both bittersweet and victorious. One of the main characters - Gabriel, is a Jesuit priest who clearly loves music, as he plays an Oboe. His character made me think of Richard... and the mix of music and belief, felt very appropriate in remembering Richard. If you have a few minutes, follow this link.

I Am, Therefore I Think...

... or something like that anyway.





I have been given the great honour of being nominated for the Thinking Blogger Award by Bunnygirl.

It's great to think that people believe they have benefited from anything written here. I just try to record things as I see them, in an honest way. I believe very strongly in the need, not just to put your views across... but to share an insight as to how you arrived at those views. I try to live by that ideology within the remit of this blog. I can only hope that this nomination is a reflection of that.

In turn, as I have been "tagged", it is my responsibility to name five blogs that give me cause to think about various issues. the blogs I nominate are:

1. A Worshipper's Space. Gerry, the author of this blog, looks intently at matters of faith and addresses many different points in a passionate and informed manner.
   
   
2. New Kid on the Blog. Alastair's blog is relatively new to me... but I have been impressed by a lot of his writings.
   
   
3. Creaseville. I've known the author - Jenni, for a couple of years now and I think in many ways she is years ahead of herself. Some of her posts can be quite random... because at the end of the day, her blog often reflects her daily life. However when she's switched onto something, her views are really worth listening to... and for that reason above all, I have nominated her.
   
   
4. Kathryn Marquis.com. I have known Kathryn via MSN Spaces for some time... and she recently moved over to blogger. However she has recently taken some time out for personal reflection. She writes beautifully though... and my hope is that she will return to blogging, when God says that the time is right.
   
   
5. I want to do something different for No. 5. I guess I feel like Optimus Prime in the Marvel Comics Transformers continuity (there is an issue where Prime holds a fragment of the missing Matrix in his hand... there is enough power to restore one autobot to life... but there are so many lying inactive and he has a crisis as to who to choose. In the end Prime witnesses a serene forest being destroyed in a fight between autobots and decepticons. Feeling responsibility and compassion for the lives of the innocent creatures caught up in the robots war, he casts the Matrix to Earth and restores the battle scarred woodland.) There have been several blogs that I have found inspirational and thought provoking over the few years I have been doing this. Many of those I regarded with fondness have fallen by the wayside. so instead of naming a final current blog, I wish to remember three that inspired me a great deal. Charlotte's, Naomi's and Rachelle's. I miss their input and look forward to the hope that one or more of them will return to the world of blogging soon.

Should you choose to participate, please make sure you pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging. I thought it would be appropriate to include them with the meme.The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
   
   
2. Link to this post (over at The Thinking Blogger), so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
   
   
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).
   
   

Thank you once more to Bunnygirl for the nomination. I hope that more thought provoking material, flows from this place as the days and months wear on. Thank you everyone who reads this blog and supports me. I pray God blesses you continually and look forward to you all teaching me a trick or two.

Thanks most of all go to God who without any shred of doubt is the source of inspiration of anything good, credible and noteworthy on this site.

I'll shut up now before I start taking myself too seriously, as this is already starting to sound like an Oscar acceptance speech... still at least I didn't break down like Gwyneth Paltrow or Halle Berry... but I can feel the tears welling now - *sniff* .

Keep blogging and may you all be richly blessed.

Nick.

Dr Who: Gridlock

I really enjoyed tonight's installment of Doctor Who:

The episode centred around The Doctor's return to New Earth, a generation after he last visited with Rose (something that did not overly impress his new companion, Martha).

This world is very different to the one he left; oh yes the futuristic skyscrapers and spires of New New York still tower ominously over the landscape... but this time, the Doctor and Martha spend most of their time trapped below the surface in the lower levels of the city. Martha gets kidnapped and the Doctor gets stuck in the ultimate traffic jam from hell (it has been going on for 20 odd years and it takes a decade to travel as many miles in floating cars stacked vertically and laterally in every direction). Outside, the fumes are toxic and far below an old devolved enemy awaits to prey on the careless.

There is a very moving sequence where we see the various characters we have met, singing along to part of an old hymn - namely "The Old Rugged Cross", that comes across the radios to comfort the weary travellers (very appropriate considering we've just had Easter). Update as of 18th April - somebody very kindly uploaded the sequenceto YouTube, so here it is along with some of the lyrics:

On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
The emblem of suffering and shame;
And I love that old cross where the dearest and best
For a world of lost sinners was slain.

So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,
Till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
And exchange it some day for a crown.

It was a nice bit of foreshadowing, as towards the end of the episode we find out that the Face of Boe engineered the traffic jam by shutting down the city in order to prevent people contaminating themselves and dying (everybody else was dead).

As the Doctor struggles to open up the city, he realises he can't release the city's energy due to a technical hitch. It is the Face of Boe who in Christlike manner, lays down his life by giving up the last of his life energy to ensure the Doctor's success.

The world of lost sinners far below, are finally able to make their escape into the city skies above.

There seemed to be a lot of religious symbolism in the episode... two hymns and a tale of a higher being sacrificing himself for people far below, who had no means to save themselves from the perpetual cycle they were trapped in.

We also had the tantalising prophecy of the Face of Boe, to the Doctor - "you are not alone."

It was good to see the Doctor humbling himself and being honest about his feelings for the family, friends and home he lost in the Time War. It was very moving... especially as "Abide With Me" was softly sung in the background. Update as of 17th April, somebody has uploaded a clip of this sequence... so you can see the sequence:

If you saw the episode and have not really understood Christianity before... if you can, watch the episode again and look once more at that hymn. Understand that the reason Jesus Christ died, was to release us from the cycle of the sinful nature... that we just go round in circles in this planet, disobeying God until we drop down dead. Jesus opened up "crack in the sky" for us... so we wouldn't be subject to the darkness, toxicity and the perils of death any more. Jesus came in order that we may have life. Take it!

Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

Doctor Who continues on BBC1, Saturday evenings.

Codes of Conduct.

Earlier today, I visited a few blogs and observed the tempest that had arisen out of Tim O'Reilly's attempt to formulate a blogging code of conduct.

The task he set himself was Herculean in concept, if only because of the wide scope of definitions that people use to describe blogging. It also turned out to be somewhat of a poisoned chalice. You can analyse his efforts here.

While I appreciate the amount of work he must have put into finding the appropriate wording, I find myself disagreeing with him on various points. My primary objection is the right to anonymity. I can understand in the light of people in similar situations as that of Kathy Sierra, that there is a need to protect authors from vile anonymous attacks... but that does not help someone such as me.

The reason this place is called Nick's Sanctuary and not Nick's Coffee Bar, is so that you - the general public have a forum to voice your opinion on the things I talk about, free from reprisal.

Some of the things I talk about here are deeply personal... and as far as I am concerned, if you are in my territory, on my turf... if what you are saying carries strong emotions that upset you; then I personally feel you have the right to withhold your identity. I'm not Roman Catholic and this isn't exactly a confessional booth, but what is said between you and I here, in my mind carries with it a sacred bond.

I know the risks and I willingly choose to leave myself open nonetheless. That's why I don't require you to enter characters to prove you are human, or require you to belong to Blogger... because if there was even a slight spark in your heart that prompted you to write something, I want you to say it, I want to hear it. Therefore I deliberately minimize the obstacles to you recording your thoughts, despite it offering less security to me.

My other real issue is the matter of trolls... and how you deal with them. Unlike Mr O'Reilly, I do believe in taking on a troll... in the right circumstances. I will ignore and delete repeated profanity that is just a character assault against me... but if the "troll" raises a valid point in the midst of their ravings, I will address that point. It has happened before. In the early days of my blog when it was still on MSN Spaces, I noticed a person being absolutely vile to a 14 year old Christian girl... so I promptly told them to pick on someone with bigger shoulders - namely me. I took the brunt of what this person threw at me. I deleted their posts when they were just swearing and being perverse about my faith... however they let slip a view on one matter of faith once... and I addressed it cordially. From that day on, the trolling stopped. I don't dare imagine they changed as a person... and I can only hope that they did... but they listened. They learned to show respect, not because I traded worthy punches with them but because I turned the other cheek and treated them with seriousness and conviction despite themselves.

Back in 2005 I did come up with a brief set of ideas for my own personal code. I think it may be time for me to restate that in a new way for myself. So I can stand shoulder to shoulder amidst other peoples codes and say "This is who I am and what I do."

Regards and blessings

Nick

Mild Mannered Reporter

As promised, here is an image of me in my primary pair of new glasses:

I guess I feel a little like Eric Morecambe!

Verdict?

The God Who Needs No Doors

Happy Resurrection Day, or if the traditionalists among you really must insist... Easter.

One of the things that first convinced me of the resurrection as a reality in my mind, was the simplicity of it. Isn't it true with lies, that you have to concoct evermore elaborate tales to maintain the illusion of your falsehoods?

The Gospels don't do this... and this is what I find remarkable. As this is the season, I thought I'd look at it in a little detail today. Here are the examples:

"After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men. The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."" Matthew 28:1-7

Note from that passage that Jesus had already exited the tomb... no explanation given, Matthew doesn't invent a cute, clever mechanism as to how this might have happened... he just writes it as it was perceived. Simple and straight to the point, as a reliable account should be kept.

We do get a little insight into this later on:

"On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord." John 20:19-20

and:

"A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."" John 20:26-29

So clearly, Jesus had either the ability to walk through walls or teleport (heck he's the Son of God... my guess he can pick or choose at his discretion). Now I've heard some people put forward a scientific suggestion that the resurrection somehow involved atomic change and Jesus, with a body now made up of neutrons would be able to pass through solids while retaining solid form. I don't want to get into intellectual stuff now though... it dilutes the message.

Again, the events are recorded.. but not explained away ad infinitum.

Yesterday, I wrote with regard to the reasons why Jesus Christ endured the cross - that we may have life... and have it to the full, to save us... not condemn us.

Now I will tell you one thing Jesus will not do:

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." John 3:20


Jesus Christ, the omnipotent Son of God who does not have need of doors, will not enter the door of your heart against your will. That verse proves it. He'll stand outside knocking... sometimes that knocking will be loud... and sometimes his knuckles will be raw from that knocking, because of his great passion for you. He will however, not enter into your heart if you do not welcome him. Much as he loves you, he respects your free will that much.

Knowing now what he came to do, what I wonder is your choice going to be? Are you going to hide behind the sofa like my mum got me and my sister to do as kids when the JW's came round (why?), or are you going to be brave... take a stand and open that door and say like Thomas, "My Lord and my God!"?

Think on it. Jesus does not say if you open the door, that he will beat you about the head with a cudgel... he comes to help, to heal and to save. I won't lie to you... sometimes I've been disciplined... but it has never been capricious or malevolent... and it has only happened when I have become proud, stubborn and thought of myself as something more than I ought. My promise to you is this. If you are broken, he will not break you still further... it simply isn't what he does - the Bible says that a bruised reed he will not break.

Are you that bruised reed? Then maybe, just maybe you know you need to take a chance on God's promises to you.

So once again, happy Resurrection Day - Easter, whatever you call it. Enjoy your chocolate... but learn to enjoy Jesus too.

Blessings

N

A Beautiful Day at the Foot of the Cross

After yesterday's involuntary incarceration, it was great to be able to finally get out... and what a glorious day it has been.

First of all I ate properly for the first time in over 24 hours... okay it was just a bowl of Weetabix... but it got me started.

Normally on Easter Saturday, some of the locals travel up to a giant daffodil cross that was planted several years ago and emerges every year in time for Easter. Unfortunately, I missed the announcement of what time people would gather... because I was too busy being ill in bed yesterday.

Undaunted by this, I set off for the town centre at about noon, to see if I could ascertain when (from the various noticeboards outside the church and around town), people might be meeting to travel up to the cross. Unfortunately there was no information in town, so I set off for the outskirts with absolutely no clue when anybody else would arrive... or whether or not they had already been and I had missed them.

As I crossed the dual carriageway I was greeted by a "Wahey!!!!" and a two fingered salute from some lads travelling from Stratford-upon-Avon towards Evesham. I've got no idea what that was about.

I climbed the steep hill and reached the foot of the cross at about 1pm. It was a sunny day and I marvelled at a wake of buzzards that circled high above my position. Despite the traffic far below me on the bypass, it seemed very peaceful. It is very strange, but the time I spent up there alone seemed to pass very quickly... and it was no time at all before a steady exodus of roughly 20 townsfolk ambled up the hill.

We worshipped... singing a good mixture of relevant songs and listening to a few short extracts from scripture. Then Simon Hodges, pastor at the local Renewal church preached for a few minutes on the importance of the resurrection message... and how people needed to know that life was to be enjoyed and not just endured - that the people far below us needed to know that Jesus Christ came that we may have life and have it in abundance. One of the verses he quoted, is pretty much a scripture that is the foundation for my own church - the mission it has been called to when the season is right (Isaiah 61).

The other verse he quoted is from a passage that is dear to my own heart - John 10. A lot of the Gospel message can be summarised by what you read in that passage, Jesus lays it all out for you there. He even has the audacity to tell people exactly what is going to happen to him and why. It is powerful and beautiful - life saving stuff. Simon quoted this part:

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

It reminds me of the promises we have in Jesus Christ, and the need that the people of this planet have, to hear them. Too easily are preacher's tempted to preach hellfire and damnation... they fail to recognise that many of the people who are lost are not prideful and arrogant.

No.

There are many who are broken people. People who know the great distance they have fallen, people who are crushed and broken, people who feel the tendrils of despair creeping in and driving out all vestiges of hope. The people who cry out "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man". Such people do not need to know of hell, because they feel it already. These people do not need conviction, for god has already seen to it... these people need one thing.

Hope.

So I want to finish by quoting two more verses. Messages of hope to a fallen people and a lost generation. The words of God that cry out "I love you... come home".

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." - John 3:16-17

and:

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:10

May you have a blessed Easter, full of hope and joy.

N

Humbled

As today is Good Friday, I was looking forward to being able to post something pious about Jesus' sacrifice, it would seem that God had other ideas - he decided instead, to humble me.

Ironically, I didn't have to choose whether or not to eat meat either (Something Fishy Going On? - Thursday 6th April 2007), because it seems I managed to pick up a 24 hour bug... a really nasty one. I will save you the gory details - I'm still not quite right, even now.

Being ill meant having to miss out on the March of Witness, something that I take great joy in doing every year - naturally I was disappointed. I did seriously consider going anyway... but my stomach was having none of it. I was so bad , that I was totally dehydrated. I dragged myself to the local supermarket and bought some medication for my tummy... and two large bottles of water. I got home, clambered into bed with a hot water bottle and thought... "game over" as I slipped into the realm of the unconscious.

Now I woke up, just a few hours later... and something really odd happened. I had regained consciousness in time to see "The Prince of Egypt". There are a couple of key sequences in that film, that really stir me. Today... they shook me as well. I was watching Jethro (voiced by Danny Glover and Brian Stoke Mitchell), sing his song "Through Heaven's Eyes" and all of a sudden I was totally choked up. Tears streamed down my face as I wept openly (something that seldom happens to me), I also found myself laughing in places too. I always get moved by the burning bush sequence that follows immediately afterwards... it always seems as if God is trying to say something deeply personal through that.

So it was, that I found myself completely moved in this manner, until the end credits rolled by. I honestly don't think I would have appreciated it so much if I was in full health. Don't you find that sometimes it seems that God slams the brakes on, so that he can have proper time out with our hearts?

Not all tears are evil, not every hardship we suffer is negative.

I don't feel miserable at all, or despondent. I feel both humbled and grateful to have had such an experience. If I really wanted to tie this in to Good Friday, I could easily point out that any suffering on my part today is incomparable to what Jesus went through, just under 2,000 years ago.

There aren't that many videos on YouTube for "The Prince of Egypt", otherwise I'd be saturating you with them right now - my fervour seems that stoked up. However, I am conscious that some people reading this, may be feeling crushed and broken in spirit themselves. Maybe you came here and your faith in miracles and divine goodness has been bruised, broken or shattered. So I offer you one of the films most poignant songs - "When You Believe":

Now that I've had some spiritual nourishment through this experience, it would be nice to be able to eat something solid again... all in good time!

I pray that God touches your heart over this Easter holiday, that you may be blessed and comforted... whoever and wherever you may be.

The Vigil

I have a little personal tradition that I carry out each year, one that I'd like to share with you... but first, to get things in context, let me refer you to a familiar story:

Gethsemane

They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray." He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them. "Stay here and keep watch."

Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him."Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Simon," he said to Peter, "are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him.

Returning the third time, he said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!"

Just as he was speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, appeared. With him was a crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests, the teachers of the law, and the elders.

Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: "The one I kiss is the man; arrest him and lead him away under guard." Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, "Rabbi!" and kissed him. The men seized Jesus and arrested him. Then one of those standing near drew his sword and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.

"Am I leading a rebellion," said Jesus, "that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? Every day I was with you, teaching in the temple courts, and you did not arrest me. But the Scriptures must be fulfilled." Then everyone deserted him and fled.

Gethsemane is by far one of the most moving moments in history. Jesus Christ - knowing what fate is about to befall him, went to the Mount of Olives to pray. He took his closest friends with him, but they fell asleep. Another close friend comes along and betrays him... then when the crunch came... everyone abandoned him to his fate.

Yet despite all this... and despite the fact that he could have easily escaped (even from the Mount of Olives which is pretty big), he chose to stay.

He chose to stay.

For you and for me and for his Father... he chose to stay.

Something personal I like to do on Maundy Thursday (the day the Church calendar remembers the events just described), is to take a walk after midnight, through Moorfields Park:

I like to do this because when I was a child, I used to imagine it happening there... it was so real to me, I could point out different parts of the park and tell you where everything took place.

After this I travel through Bull's Head Yard, on my way to the local church:

It is along this alley that as a child, I used to picture the soldiers and guards dragging Jesus off down after his arrest. Curiously... it's the same run down set of buildings that I used to imagine the nativity might have taken place in.

Eventually I come to the church... by which time, it is about 12:30am. Nobody is usually around.... just me and God. What I try to do while I'm there, is to try and "be" with Jesus... albeit some 2,000 years too late. I just feel that he did so much for me... that the least I can do, is try to pray for him and "keep watch" with him in those few precious moments between the Last Supper and his arrest... the moments of despair and loneliness that he must have felt. Yes, I know it's silly. I know that in the human way of thinking... asking for something that has already happened is pointless. However, there are just two things that I would say to counter those arguments:

• I believe God is not bound by time... a prayer after the event, in good faith... is better than none at all.
  
• My love for God... forged on the basis of his love for me, requires me to treat him with a closeness that only the sincerest of friends and family deserve. If you saw your mother or father suffering, you'd want to help them... so why should it be any different with Jesus?

Eventually (sometimes it's 30 minutes later, sometimes an hour or so), I come out of church and return home via the route I came. I usually sit in the park for a few minutes and try to picture it all over again. Then I get as much sleep as I possibly can, before joining the March of Witness in the morning... where I usually look a little like a zombie, after having stayed up so late. In fact, having stayed up so late... just to share this with you... bed is where I should be going. So that is my little tradition. My hope is that it might get you thinking about what thoughts went through Jesus' head and heart that night... and to encourage you to appreciate them a little bit more.

God bless

N

Something Fishy Going On?

I was having an interesting discussion with my dad last night.

When it comes to church and belief, Dad is much more traditional than I am. I'll accept some traditions... but I don't tend to follow just for their own sake.

I was asked if I wanted fish and chips tomorrow... never one to pass up a free meal, I of course said yes. Mum and Dad were both raised in the custom of not eating meat on Good Friday. Similarly, they never served either me or my sister meat on Good Friday, as we grew up. Last night I asked Dad why he thought that the tradition had been put in place. He wasn't entirely sure... but nonetheless he saw it as an important act of personal reverence on his part. If I were to guess, I would say that it is done out of respect for the fact that Jesus took on flesh and blood and died for us. Meat is flesh and blood... so to abstain from eating meat is an acknowledgement of what Jesus did.

I probably won't eat any meat tomorrow, but more because I don't want to cause concern for other people. As a Christian, I personally believe that Jesus sacrifice holds daily and eternal significance to me. I don't necessarily subscribe to the importance of festivals. every day is a gift from God... and should be treated as such. I believe in what Paul taught in his writings to the Romans:

Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. It is written:

" 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,

'every knee will bow before me;

every tongue will confess to God.'"

So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

What Paul writes here is amazing... it can be applied to so many different facets of the Christian life. If more people applied this passage to their lives, there would be a lot less disagreement among believers. What he is basically saying is that there are bound to be minor things that we see and do differently... but we should not impose our personal spirituality... the ways in which we worship or practice our belief on other Christians.

I really encourage you to consider what aspects of your faith that are not mandatory... you may be unnecessarily burdening other people with.

The verdict

My baby blues have finally been scrutinized... and found a little wanting.





It seems I've gotten a little short sighted since my last check up. I am therefore getting refitted up with some specs. You'll get to see the new look in a week's time... stay tuned!


Yes that is my own eye.

Debtwatch 6 - The Last Lap approaches

I had a bit of a panic attack on Friday... it was payday but the BACS (Bankers Automated Clearance Services) payroll system was working very slowly... nationwide. 300,000 people had their pay withheld due to the lag; I was one such person... so was everybody else in my office for that matter.

Nevertheless when I checked my bank account today, I had indeed been paid... and all my transfers were in place. The exciting thing is that in less than one month, I will be debt-free. Five years ago, when I was still stuck in the relationship that had taken me along this path... I don't think I could have imagined that it would take me under a year to shake off all my liabilities.

I've worked hard... and God has been kind. My dad was talking to me about it tonight and I get the impression he's really proud of how I've done this... of the sacrifices I have made along the way. I can see the finish line of this journey it is not far away at all. I'm probably going to treat myself in a month or so, as a pat on the back for finishing one hard journey... before beginning the next one. No longer the road back, this time it is the road forward... a much more daunting prospect.

So this by the grace of God, is how the books are balanced at present:

Balance left on debt: £287.03
Cash in short term savings reserves: £0
Cash left in current account that I hope to spare for debt repayment £0
Estimated balance for next Debtwatch report: £0.00
Original Finish Date for completion of Payments - October 2007
Estimated Completion of Payments - MAYDAY!

Now don't all those 0's look really nice?