Flirting With Your Fortress

When I started blogging back in 2005 on my (now pretty much deserted) MSN Space, I originally called the blog "Nick's Sanctuary and Fortress of Solitude". It wasn't long before I realised this was actually a bit of a mouthful and dropped the "Fortress of Solitude".

However, that didn't change the original reason I created my blogs - neither this one, nor it's predecessor. They were intended to be a place where I could explore my beliefs in my on head. It's there right before you in the blog description - "A safe haven for sharing my thoughts about my faith, my life and the universe in general". It's still very much a fortress... but I think I need to actually come to terms with what a fortress... a stronghold is actually for.

It occurs to me that maybe sometimes I've sat here and thrown witty remarks or missiles out at my targets from the battlements... but that's little better than the French in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It doesn't deal with the wolf outside the door, it doesn't claim territory for your king... it's just a snug, cosy way of dealing with things. That is not what a sanctuary - a fortress is for... and something I read recently challenged me with regard to this.

Eugene Peterson referred to what he believed a sanctuary exists for... when referring to the time the Old Testament hero David, was a fugitive running from the maniacal King Saul (David went up to a sanctuary in a town called Nob to take refuge, you can read about it here). Peterson writes that:

"A sanctuary is... where I, like David, get bread and a sword, strength for the day and weapons for the fight."

I agree with him. If we stay holed up where it's safe, we make little headway. Every historical stronghold I can think of has at some point fallen to an attacking force... you can only hold out so long. In Lord of the Rings, King Theoden is trapped within his stronghold of Helm's Deep... it is about to fall... when he heeds the advice to gear up and take the battle to the enemy. This seemingly futile gesture is rewarded when Gandalf and the Rohirrim come charging into the fray, ploughing through the orc hordes and smiting all before them:

I'm not saying that we should never remain within the safety of the city walls... clearly in scripture there is wisdom in this also - Hezekiah was commanded by God not to leave Jerusalem... and an angel struck down the armies of the Assyrian king Sennacherib.

What I am saying is that although sanctuaries are places to protect what you value, they are also places to nourish yourself from hidden reserves, equip yourself for battle and muster your forces. They are also a place where you train for combat. The other day I referenced Smallville and it's been established in the series that Clark will have to go to the stronghold built specifically for him - the Fortress of Solitude, in order to complete his training as a superhero and the transition into Superman - the Man of Steel. In the clip below, we see him get a brief taste of this training:

My hope is that as I have continued to voice my concerns and beliefs on this site, that I have also learned to hone the skills and powers I'm going to need for what God calls me to. That is what this blog is for now. It's not just a place for protection... it's a launchpad.

Christmas Presence

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

We had a bit of an interesting situation for ours. To explain, let me take you back a few days to when I was wrapping my presents. Most of them were done except for a few main ones that had no real bulk... I'd left them in a small carrier bag by the pile of wrapped presents and intended to wrap them last on Christmas Eve.

When I came home from work though,I discovered to my horror that they were missing. I searched high and low... I completely trashed my room looking for the bag. I had a familiar suspicion in my mind as to what had actually happened to them but I tried not to entertain that thought.

Fast forward to just after the Midnight Eucharist in the early hours of Christmas Day; the bag still hasn't shown up and I'm really bothered now.

Now my mother has a certain reputation... and my father is very quick to point it out. She has a habit of throwing out important things like ooh I don't know, cheques, bills and cold hard cash... into the rubbish. This had been my initial suspicion about what had happened to the presents... but it was Christmas and I had chosen to ignore it (it being the season of goodwill and all).

Nevertheless, when I came home from church after the morning service... Mum, true to form handed me a small plastic bag... and there inside were the presents for my sister, her boyfriend and mum herself.

So it was not under a pristine tree laden with gold and silver tinsel, flashing lights and baubles... that my mum's present was found. Nor was it wrapped in fine shiny paper. No... mum's present was found to be in the most unlikely of places... a smelly rubbish bin in the kitchen.

It got me thinking of a parallel with the Christmas story (well actually Epiphany, but seeing as most people tend to think of the wise men arriving at the Nativity, I thought I'd play on that a little.)

It also has a lot to do with what I was saying a few days ago about God's choice. First lets look at the scripture:

"After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him." When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people's chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. "In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written:

" 'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for out of you will come a ruler
who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.'"

Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, "Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him."

After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh."

Matthew 2:1-11

Jesus was not be found in the capital city... the seat of power from where king's reign. Nor was he to be found in a richly decorated palace - the magnificent home of a king.

No. Jesus was found in a sleepy rural backwater village that few people remembered or cared about... except when it came to taxing the people, making a census... or remembering the glory days of King David - Bethlehem's other great son. Again, God's choice was not man's choice.

So the question I want to ask today is... where do you look for your presents? Or more to the point: where do you find you Christmas presence?

Did you go to church expecting to find Jesus amidst the bells and smells - the pomp of the usual annual service? Did you come away disappointed? Did you come in search of meaning and find an empty box inside your wrapping paper?

I want to encourage you today that there is hope. Go and look in the garbage. Scary as it may seem, delve through all the banana skins and stink of superficial stuff... dig right to the bottom - I'm not talking about the bin in your kitchen...I'm talking about the human heart. We have a tendency to get bogged down by things that really aren't important... and we miss out.

However, God gives us this promise in scripture - that if we look for him with all our heart... we will find him:

"But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him. For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath."

Deuteronomy 4:29-31

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Jeremiah 29:13

I really encourage to find a quiet place and look for God in your heart through prayer.

May you find that place in your heart... and be overjoyed.

Christmas Conundrums

I decided to write this blog in response to the Archbishop of Canterbury's recent comments on BBC Radio 5 as reported in the Times, with regard about the level of truth in the Christmas stories.

Before saying anything, I should point out that Rowan Williams actually does believe in the Virgin Birth himself, so his aim was not punch holes in the bottom of his own boat. His intentions were good - he was aiming to make the gospel message less hard to swallow for people on the outside.

Dr Williams is quite correct in his assertions about the Magi, we do know very little about them... and we have embellished who they were somewhat - but I do not doubt they made their accredited appearance; their gifts would have provided the resources necessary for Joseph, Mary and Jesus' time of refuge in Egypt. I also know that one of the reasons Matthew included them in his narrative, was that he was aiming to point out right from the very start that Jesus had come to be the Gentile Messiah as well as the Israelite one.

It's also true that we don't know exactly what was in the stable at the time of Christ's birth. I would hazard a guess that there were animals in there, because of the fact that Jesus was placed in their food trough upon birth.

It's also true that the weather in the Middle East is not the same as British weather...and that Jesus was not actually born at this time of year. The move to celebrate Christ's birth in December was a political one. However, you could argue that Jesus is like the British monarch, he has his actual birthday and an official one too. He is the King of kings, so it is totally appropriate as far as I am concerned.

As to stellar behaviour, the simple truth is we don't know what astronomical event was being observed, nor how the Magi with their background had decided to interpret what they had witnessed. The biblical narrative suggests that they reached Jesus later in his development, not whilst he was a baby. That doesn't mean that we have to dismiss the idea... we merely have to accept that there are other ways of understanding the star. Some are recorded here on Wikipedia.

However, the main controversy I wish to address is the issue of the Virgin Birth. Dr Williams believes in it... but according to a 2002 survey of 2000 Anglican clergy, many of them do not personally accept it, some do not even believe in the resurrection! I find that statistic quite disturbing, it is one thing to struggle with a theological concept as a believer... it is quite another to ask others to accept a belief you do not hold yourself. Some, like the chaplain who was denouncing the nativity as myth, are worse; they actively encourage people NOT to believe in the Virgin Birth. One wonders why they signed up in the first place. If you can't accept the basics of Christian belief... what business do you have shepherding a flock of Christ's sheep? It is being a blind guide to others. I sometimes think (whetther they are aware of it or not), that the reason behind some of these people's ministries is not divine calling... but self righteousness - "the Church is wrong, but I am right... I will show them". That is ego on the throne and not God.

Back to the Virgin Birth and I personally feel that it is pretty important.

If Jesus was born of a human union... there would be nothing to make him any different to us. He would be a sinful human because he would carry Adam's sin. He had to be perfect, he had to be supernaturally born in order to be free of the sin that he came to deliver us from. He also had to be human so as to be able to represent us. He had to be our righteousness and in his resurrection, our mediator.

The chaplain I spoke of yesterday and referred to above, spoke scientifically about our knowledge of conception and how it biologically works... but he missed the point. He was trying to rationalise the birth of Christ based on the observed scientific reproductive process with regard to a normal human child; not that of God translating himself into a human body. We have seen in cloning how genetic data can be completely removed from an egg and replaced with data from another being. There are so many different ways we could look at it scientifically and still not understand exactly what happened. You cannot reason everything out with God... sometimes you have to just accept it's above you... and run with it.

I disagree to an extent with Dr Williams. I do believe it's important to accept the virgin birth...I do agree that people who struggle with it shouldn't get hung up on it. Crucially what I am saying is that I don't believe you make Jesus Christ any more accessible by watering down who he is.

In 2005 Jamie Oliver had a problem with making school dinners. He wanted to replace turkey twizzlers and Frankenstein foods with real wholesome food... however he had to contend with school budgets. It came down to him saying something like "you could reduce the cost and get cheaper ingredients to a degree... but you could only do it so much. There comes a point where the end product isn't what you are advertising it as it anymore."

That's the problem the church faces if it constantly waters down the Gospel. It won't be proclaiming the Gospel any more... it'll be some other message; cleverly packaged but devoid of the power that only God could give it. I'm all for making the Gospel accessible - how many times have you seen me use popular culture or allegory here, in order to get the message across in a more understandable way? The one thing I won't do is change the essential message at the heart of the Gospel and that's because the message of the cross is God's wisdom and not man's. It is foolish to understand the Gospel on the world's terms, you have to accept it as God gives it to you. He took on human form and he died to deliver us from our sins.

Many of you here will go to church in the next 24 hours and hear the words from the following passage you hear every year... because it might be the only time of year you go, which is entirely your choice and privilege. However my challenge to you is to look at this passage and contemplate what it means to you personally, who is this child to you?

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.

Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.

He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John testifies concerning him. He cries out, saying, "This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.' " From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father's side, has made him known."

John 1:1-18

May God bless you this Christmas. May you know him more deeply than you have ever known him.

Way Beyond the Red Line

Various things have happened to me over the weekend which are leading me to conclude that God is totally putting me through the ringer at the moment. I've been contemplating what my calling should be and the direction my life should be heading in for a while now; all of a sudden though, it's gone completely mental.... like riding a horse you thought was tame but then explodes off into a gallop at breakneck speed unexpectedly. I decided to write it down here, partly to share but also to make sure I do not forget.

It started off subtly. Earlier in the week, I had a dream where a deceased friend gave me a lift in his car to somewhere random... and upon waking it reminded me of a blog entry I had written - a blog entry that I discovered had been accessed later that day by someone who was searching for that friend's name on Google. It was this entry.

Then over the weekend,for reasons I don't need to go into, I was reminded very strongly of another post; one where I adapted a philosophical quote by the Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi:

One night, Zhuangzi dreamed of being a butterfly — a happy butterfly, showing off and doing things as he pleased, unaware of being Zhuangzi. Suddenly he awoke, drowsily, Zhuangzi again. And he could not tell whether it was Zhuangzi who had dreamt the butterfly or the butterfly dreaming Zhuangzi. But there must be some difference between them! This is called 'the transformation of things'.

Back then, I reworded it to suit a more personal challenge:

"Are you the man of God who dreams of being a man with a normal everyday life... or are you the man with an everyday life, who dreams of being a man of God?"

I deduced that I was more the latter... but I didn't come to any hard and fast conclusions as to what that might in terms of calling or vocation.

I found myself in a position last night where my peace had been disturbed... but that's not a bad thing. We can get too settled with peace and become stagnant if we are not careful. It's a bit like hitting the snooze button repeatedly when you know you need to get up for work. During this time I was reminded of a passage in the Bible that I believe was a personal warning:

"Then he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any. So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, 'For three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven't found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?'

" 'Sir,' the man replied, 'leave it alone for one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it. If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.' "

Luke 13:6-9

Upon waking this morning I caught the end of a debate about the realism behind the Christmas story (something I intend to cover myself), I was appalled that the man who most readily dismissed elements of the nativity as fable... was a Church of England chaplain; it was left to two doctors of theology to defend certain elements of the Nativity.

Then when I came to check my email, my Last FM player pipes up with a track from the Prince of Egypt:

This is a film that always evokes an emotional response from me, most notably in the sequence where God meets Moses from within the Burning Bush. That sequence can be found in the middle of this clip:

Interestingly, all the personal back references I have made are all interconnected.

Back to today... and I decided to set off on foot for my church 2.5 miles away. It's something I recommend, it's a great opportunity to communicate with God when no one else can distract you... and it was a very busy discussion today. The passage from the previous evening came back to my mind and I was also reminded of a vision I had a while back of an eagle stripping it's nest so it's young could fly.

I felt God say to me that he doesn't need to strip any more away from me in order for me to leave. I am ready and I am able, but he is frustrated that I have not been completely willing. Like Moses and Jonah before me, I have clutched onto the tatters of the nest in order to resist facing what is before me. God doesn't want to take anything else away, but by being stubborn I run the risk of forcing his hand... and anything I lose now is as a consequence of any reluctance I might have.

Then I was brought to thinking about Smallville. Yes that sounds pretty random but bear with me. I actually like the programme, but am frustrated with it. I was asked in my heart "What do you not like about Smallville, Nick?" The honest answer to that is the fact that it has been dragged out, it has gone on and on. The writers have found newer ways to stretch out Clark Kent's evolution into the Man of Steel. At the moment he's ready to do his training... but he's got to clear up his mess. Everything is set for him to become who he is destined to be... but he's still hanging round Smallville. Typing this reminds me very much of a scene from The Lord of the Rings, one that it now occurs to me I have also referenced in this blog:

"The man who can wield the power of this sword can summon to him an army more deadly than any that walks this earth. Put aside the ranger. Become who you were born to be."

Elrond - The Return of the King

So it seems I'm in the same position as Clark and Aragorn... remaining in the wilderness when I should be committing myself to who I really am.

I wasn't even safe when I arrived at church. The combined theme of the carol service, the readings and the talk was spiritual offering. And one of the things that was raised was calling/vocation. We were shown a picture of a statue - a monk standing cruciform and holding his possessions before him. It was quite striking:

It gave me a fair bit to think about. Then we were challenged to think about something we could offer God and wrap a stone that representing it in Christmas paper...and leave it at the manger. Three guesses what was on my heart and mind to put in there. While we were being asked to do that, my mind drifted to the carol "In the Bleak Midwinter", specifically the last verse:

What can I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
if I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;
yet what I can I give him: give my heart.

It was not on the carol sheet for the service... but do you know what? The organist started playing it about 30 seconds after it popped into my head.

Finally after the service I spoke to a couple of friends who were visiting my church for the day. I told them what I was feeling challenged over and their overall reaction was pretty much "Oh Nick, it's about time!"

I chose the title for this blog entry because I feel that in such a short space of time I have been catapulted into a different place. I wasn't entirely comfortable with the sudden burst of speed. However I much prefer this to silence... and so whilst God has seemingly given me a lot to act upon, I am grateful for the activity.

God bless you all

Nick.

Hidden Wisdom

A couple of things have got me thinking lately about the difference between our opinions and God's sovereign choice. I know I've often reflected on this subject on my blog... but just recently it's come to the forefront of my mind.

In the Old Testament, the Israelites wanted a king and God though not happy with their wishes decides to provide them with one. So he pointed Samuel in the direction of an obvious candidate - Saul, son of Kish; a man without equal. Samuel anointed Saul as king and gave him the mission of delivering his people from the Philistine invaders. Yet Saul's reign is a troubled one and eventually God rejects him.

So did God make a wrong choice? I do not believe so; I believe he was making a point about the difference between his choices and our own. As I already pointed out, Saul was the obvious choice... however, he was not a man after God's own heart. He was not God's final choice. Some time after God rejected Saul as king, he sends the prophet Samuel to a little place called Bethlehem... to anoint a new king. We pick the story up there:

"The LORD said to Samuel, "How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king."

But Samuel said, "How can I go? Saul will hear about it and kill me."

The LORD said, "Take a heifer with you and say, 'I have come to sacrifice to the LORD.' Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what to do. You are to anoint for me the one I indicate."

Samuel did what the LORD said. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town trembled when they met him. They asked, "Do you come in peace?"

Samuel replied, "Yes, in peace; I have come to sacrifice to the LORD. Consecrate yourselves and come to the sacrifice with me." Then he consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice. When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, "Surely the LORD's anointed stands here before the LORD."

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel.

But Samuel said, "The LORD has not chosen this one either."

Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, "Nor has the LORD chosen this one."

Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, "The LORD has not chosen these."

So he asked Jesse, "Are these all the sons you have?"

"There is still the youngest," Jesse answered, "but he is tending the sheep."

Samuel said, "Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives."

So he sent and had him brought in. He was ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features.

Then the LORD said, "Rise and anoint him; he is the one."

So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came upon David in power."

1 Samuel 16:1-13a

When presented with a conveyor belt of worthy candidates, the difference between man and God is made abundantly clear. Samuel is straight away tempted to make the obvious choice again... despite everything he has seen. It takes a gentle prod from God to remind Samuel that he's not looking for man's choice; he's looking for God's choice. God passes over the strongman and anoints the shepherd boy.

It should be pointed out that Samuel was a decent man. He followed God closely and yet he was still fallible. Despite his close relationship with God, he was still as hopeless as the rest of us when it comes to making the right choice. We are fallen beings and so like it or not we have a tendency to judge things with entirely the wrong set of criteria. Even though we know God and have a relationship with, we still limit our options to the obvious choice and not accepting that sometimes God has chosen the abstract.

If you read the Bible, you soon realise that it's a point that God is keen to stress at great length. Most, if not all the great Bible heroes are the unlikeliest of candidates. They wouldn't make the grade in human standards and yet God makes it abundantly clear by his divine choices that he isn't at all interested in our way of assessing people:

"Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.""

1 Corinthians 1:5-31

Ultimately God's greatest "hits" all fly in the face of conventional wisdom and common sense.... and you and I are beneficiaries of that. It doesn't matter where we have or haven't been, or who we are. All he requires is a receptive and willing heart on our part.

You only need to respond to two things Jesus said to start this journey:

"Who do you say I am?" and "Follow me."

Look What I Received in My Email Today!

Dear Nick,

Thank you for writing such a wonderful letter! We have had a great year at the North Pole. The reindeer have been playing reindeer games to get in shape for the long trip Christmas Eve, and the elves have been busy getting my sleigh packed with lots and lots of toys.

Once my sleigh is packed and ready to go, I'll be off on my journey around the world. I'm reading your letter right now, and it looks like you've been a very nice boy this year. That makes me so happy. Keep up the good work!

While you are asleep on Christmas Eve, the reindeer will land my sleigh on your rooftop so I can hop down your chimney.

I see that you like cars and trucks. I like cars and trucks, too. They are lots of fun to play with, and we have some very exciting new cars and trucks this year. The elves have been very busy this year making many new and different cars and trucks for Christmas!

Well, I must get back to my workshop now and help the elves finish up the rest of the Christmas toys. We have to have them ready to go soon--we don't have a minute to lose!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Have a Merry Christmas!

Your Special Friend,

SANTA

Am I a "Cultural Polytheist"?

I have a confession to make.

As a child, I started to develop an interest in the myths and legends of the the ancient world - Greek, Roman and Norse. I used to love the stories. So I wonder... am I actually a cultural polytheist?

It should be pointed out that my love of these stories has not really shaped any of my mainstream beliefs. OK, so I have an outlandish theory that the ancient myths might in some way be related to the passage in Genesis that refers to the Nephilim... but I certainly don't believe in the pantheon of false gods from ancient polytheism.

For the record I don't consider myself a cultural polytheist, nor I am certain did C.S. Lewis or Tolkien (despite their great love of mythology), and neither did St. Paul (who actually quoted a few Greek hymns and altered their meanings... applying them to Christ). These people were all immersed in diverse cultures that they drew inspiration from. For Lewis and Tolkien, that was looking at how mythology worked as a precursor for the Gospel message. For St. Paul, it was assimilating the culture to make the Gospel more accessible to a wider audience.

Going back further into antiquity; in the Old Testament we have characters like Daniel who refused to even pay lip service when asked to worship a statue of Nebuchadnezzar. This resulted in him infamously being sent as a snack for the king's pet lions (a fate Daniel escaped by virtue of divine intervention). Why did he feel the need to do this? He could have just pretended... he knew that it was all nonsense, surely it didn't matter whether he feigned worship, for nobody would know. However Daniel wasn't built like that; as far as he was concerned, he would know and God would know... and that was enough for him. Whether you agree with that point of view or not, you seriously have to respect the man for sticking to his principles when the personal cost could have been the ultimate one.

However, lets not beat about the bush any longer. This article is not about whether I consider myself a "cultural polytheist"at all; in fact I'd laugh you out of the room if you suggested it. I consider it a pretentious label, with no real meaning. I am of course really referring to Richard Dawkin's recent assertion that he in fact is a "cultural christian".

He claims his willingness to sing Christmas carols is evidence of this... but that just makes him hypocritical in my book. If you don't believe the words you are singing... then you shouldn't be singing them. If you don't believe the sentiments and words of a prayer or creed, then you should not utter it. It is a dangerous game because words really do have power.

I have told you on record of the times I have altered a praise song's lyrics, or not sung a hymn because I disagree with the theology in them. If I don't believe something or agree with it... pretending isn't really an option.

Furthermore he claims that he does not want to stop Christian traditions. This must come as a massive disappointment to the National Secular Society (which he is an honorary associate of).

For they claim:

"Religion should be a matter of private conscience, for the home and place of worship; it must not have privileged input into the political arena where history shows it to bring conflict and injustice."

So that's carol singing out the window then.

Not that I'm knocking Dawkin's claims. If he does not want to slap a ban on evangelism, that's fine by me. That's where the imbalance is you see... the most ardent secularists want to be able to peddle their views openly without allowing religions to have the same footing. If secularists want an open forum for their views, that's fine... but true free speech demands that they demonstrate the same level of respect to theists.

Lets examine that quote from the National Secular Society again.

Do they really claim that history has demonstrated that religion has nothing positive to offer in the political arena? Really?

How about Abolition? That's a pretty big hole in the argument... and what about racial civil rights? William Wilberforce and Martin Luther King must be spinning in their graves at that ridiculous assertion. Christianity was championing civil rights long before the National Secular Society came along and started stealing fire.

I would argue that in fact, it is neither religion, belief (two different things) or secularism that cause harm in themselves. I would say that the weight of history demonstrates that it is in fact the human condition. You can call it what you want... but I call it the sinful nature.

I don't think a person can really claim to be merely a "cultural christian". Ok, sometimes a man may have doubts about just where he is in the spectrum of faith... but when it all boils down to it, you are either a Christian or you are not. Christianity is not about mere religious practice. In truth it should surpass all this.

Christ came to transform us, that we may no longer conform to the sinful nature - the human condition:

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Romans 12:2

He came to set us free from the very things that bind us to our willingness to hurt others. "Cultural Christianity" if it exists at all, is not equipped to do that, for it does not provide access to God - the source of all goodness. That is something only Jesus could do... and through Jesus we can be filled with the Holy Spirit, who equips us with the power and freedom to obey the Father.

Christmas is a good time to ponder where you are with regard to God. If you consider yourself a "cultural christian", I strongly encourage you to consider these words from Isaiah:

"The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men."

Isaiah 29:13

Is that you? Do you follow God by singing songs and saying words that you don't really engage with? I'm not saying you should abandon using those forms of worship... but I am saying that you should examine the words you are saying with your heart.

Venting in Advent

I caught a little bit of Question Time last night, specifically the "Christianophobia" debate.

It was Ken Clarke's comments on the subject that first drew my attention. He rightly pointed out that there are fringe groups of fundamentalists in every religion (he did not include atheism or secularism in that assessment - he should have), but that the vast majority of followers of a belief are actually not unreasonable (essentially, religion and belief are not the problem... but sometimes those who practice it are).

However it was the subsequent discussion on the "radical fundamental" side of Christianity that really grabbed me. First, Clarke himself suggested that Christians who reject Darwinism are among this group. Now I am a Creationist (though not in the stereotypical sense); I happen to think the ideas expressed by neo-Darwinism (i.e life without God) are foolish... I certainly don't disregard people for holding those views though. I also don't feel that we have to adhere to a literal 6 24 hour day creation period, because the Bible in the original Hebrew does not restrict Creation to that time period.

The most controversial statement was made by a member of the audience though. He challenged Clarke's assertion that people with radical views were in the minority, by pointing out that something like 44% of Americans believe that Christ will return in the next 50 years. Clarke conceded that, but pointed out that this was the UK and not the USA.

However at the risk of sounding a nutjob, I want to challenge the assertion made by that audience member myself. The idea of Christ returning in the next 50 years is only as ludicrous as it is sensible. The early apostles believed that Christ would be back within their lifetime and the sense of urgency that came from that belief, fuelled in part the enthusiasm for spreading the Gospel message. In truth, the "50 years" part of the statement is irrelevant though. He most likely raised it because he finds the idea of Christ returning ludicrous in itself... and do you know what? I feel sure a lot of churchgoers do to.

I don't.

I believe Jesus will return one day... because he said he would. Whether that is tomorrow or in the next 5 millennia - I wouldn't like to call it, but he will come back.

If you think that is outlandish and you are a churchgoer yourself, then you should consider that what I have just said is nothing less than what is uttered every week in various forms of the Creed... and if you hadn't realised that, maybe you should pay more attention when saying it.

Truth be known, I don't think the idea of Jesus returning within 50 years is ridiculous either. We know how big the Earth is now... and the Gospel is day by day reaching new cultures... even the remotest tribes. We live in an age when when the consequences of Adam's sin are maturing. By this I mean that man is growing very much to the point where he feels as a species that he is independent of God and has no need of him.

Many reject the concept of the Second Coming because of doubt in Christ's divinity and/or because of arrogance or complacency that the world will continue each day as it always has... and yet really irrespective of whether we acknowledge God... none of us is guaranteed another sunrise.

Jesus himself said the following:

"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.

"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him."

Matthew 24:36-44

We merrily go about our business and rarely give a second thought to it, do we? The only times you'll hear mention of the Second Coming are as a joke when something surprises us... or as a comparison that something is a long way off. Yet this is advent, it is a time when the church assigns time to contemplate these things. It isn't just about waiting for the babe in a manger, it is about waiting for the king descending with the kingdom and manifesting it fully on Earth.

No one knows the day or the hour... oh it might be a million years away... but it might just as easily be tomorrow. Would you take that chance?

Would you really take that chance?

There's an old proverb that I've quoted here before. It might well be cliched... but I happen to believe it is something to aspire to:

"You should live as if Christ died yesterday, rose today... and is coming back tomorrow."

Maybe it's time we paid attention and started to get our houses in order.

You.

Me.

Everybody.

UnBEARable

I've been following the news with regard to the plight of Gillian Gibbons, with some interest this week.

It is utter madness.

I understand that in Islamic law, it is wrong to portray anything as Mohamed; we've been through that episode in Europe last year with the furore concerning the Mohamed cartoons. I recall commenting at the time that the principle difference between Jesus and Mohamed over personal slander, was that Jesus endured it... whilst Mohamed legislated against it (in my view, to preserve his public image).

We could talk theology here... but what is the point? The root of this argument is less about theology and more about the nature of children. Reports suggest that Ms Gibbons merely facilitated the discussion about what to name the "offending" teddy bear; the children drew their own conclusions.

The children no doubt chose to name the teddy after character they were familiar with... and why not? After all, we live in a culture where the name Mohamed is charting in the top flight of name choices; for a child, theology doesn't even enter their minds over such things.

Furthermore, Sudan is possibly one of the last places on Earth that could claim to be in a position to make moral life and death judgements. They need to get their own house in order and make sure the Darfur conflict is fully resolved before making such assumptions collectively as a people.

This kind of news story gets me riled because it plays directly into the radical secularists hands. I'm talking about the kind of people who practically come out in hives when you mention the words "religion","faith", "God" or even "spirituality". Yes... a lot of bad has been done in the name of God... but that is not a reason to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Godly people have been a force for positive change throughout history.

People might be reading this and saying "but if they said it about Jesus, you'd be the same".

No I wouldn't.

As I have stated before... Jesus did not legislate to protect himself, he came to endure the scorn of men... and redeem them despite it:

"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."

Isaiah 53:3-5

Jesus wasn't concerned with how men perceived him because he knew who he was and his Father - God, affirmed it publicly.

I am utterly convinced that Jesus reaction would be completely different, because he understands the hearts, minds and souls of little children:

"Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there."

Matthew 19:13-15

"He called a little child, whom he placed among them. And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes a humble place—becoming like this child—is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me."

Matthew 18:2-5

Jesus would never call for the death of someone over such a thing... he even said blasphemy against him (the Son), would be forgiven (not that it's an excuse for us to partake in it). T conclude on a lighter note, I'll say that the harshest thing he'd do would probably be something along the lines of what Captain Sheridan did when confronted with a similar situation in Babylon 5:

Space the offending teddy... and not a human being for pities sake!

Enter the Dragon?

According to the BBC, an interesting debate has been sparked off in the House of Commons. It appears that Wrexham's Labour MP - Ian Lucas, has called for the Dragon of Wales to appear on the Union Flag.

Peterborough's Tory MP - Stewart Jackson has opposed the idea and labelled it as "eccentric" and unpopular.

However, I'm all for it. The intellectual legalists will argue of course that Wales is technically a principality and not a full blooded country... so there is no need. Crusty traditionalists will be opposed because "it's been like this for 207 years and hasn't needed changing, so why change now?" However, we refer to Wales as a "home nation" in our sports... and most people seem to culturally identify Wales as a country if you talk to them. So surely this weakens the former argument. The latter argument against - the traditionalist one, isn't even a supported one. It's just an opinion based solely on personal feeling.

I actually think sticking a dragon on the front of our flag will give it attitude... I also believe Wales has a right to be represented on the flag. It's not right that we treat the Cymru as cultural pets. They are equal brothers in my view. This is something that should be debated. Okay lets not spend years arguing over it, but we should have a genuine open debate to see what the general consensus is.

Unlearning

"You must unlearn what you have learned."

Yoda - Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

On several blogs in the past,I have explored the issue of conformity. I didn't just talk about the need of Christians to avoid conforming to the pattern and nature of this world, I looked at it in terms of personal development - for myself and for anyone else reading these pages who might benefit from my musings.

There were times when I'd told you of my exasperation at being the odd one out... about how I felt different to the people around me (even Christians), how my natural instincts were frowned on and I felt a great strain to comply with certain social expectations.

At the moment things feel very different from the stark days of last March. During the past year and a half I have found myself able (by God's grace) to close the book on a few situations that were burdening me and causing me distress. It's not to say the situations have necessarily been resolved... but God has taught me to unlearn how I react to them.

Much more important than this though, I have discovered over time that as different as I am from most around me, I have discovered individuals dotted around here and there who I share similarities with... I am nowhere near as alone as I might have once thought. I am not the lone man on the train who sees everyone partying on another train on the other side of the tracks. I have wandered down a couple of carriages and discovered plenty of parties of my own. I think my original issues may have come from living in a fairly insular community. It's been the act of branching out and meeting people from further afield over a course of a couple of years, that has gradually made me realise this. This in turn gave me the confidence to accept that I don't need to become a clone of the Christians around me if I want to fit in. I have found I can totally be myself and be accepted for all my quirks.

Naturally over time, this has led me to feel a little like a fish out of water in my own surroundings. I certainly feel a lot less bound to my town than I used to be... and I have to strongly consider whether in fact God is preparing me for something as yet unrevealed. Many years ago, whilst in prayer I had a vision of an eagle stripping it's nest... preparing it's young for flight. Could it be that God is preparing me for an entirely new phase in my walk with him?

Spirit of 164 (BC)

Today... is my birthday.

33 years ago... just prior to the IRA attacks in Birmingham... I was born at 6:40pm.

The 21st of November marks another anniversary though.

According to wikipedia in the year 164 BC, Judas Maccabeus overcame two armies of the Seleucid Empire and liberated Jerusalem. This led to the Second Temple (which had previously been defiled), being purified and used for sacrifice and worship once more. Thus began the first celebration of what modern Judaism calls Hanukkah.

So at midnight... as we passed over into the 21st, I went into a quiet place and I set about getting my own house in order. I gave thanks for the dawn of a new day and a new year in my life... and I gave them both these gifts back to God. There are things I really want to achieve this year, there are places that spiritually I need to go and there are ways in which I need to grow.

I have been waiting for God... but a few things recently have made me wonder whether actually the ball is really in his court... or whether it is actually in mine. There are several possibilities... but I really lack focus. I'm always getting inspiration about things I think I should be doing with my life... but I never set on one.

I want to sort this... I need to sort this.

As I prayed to God last night I earnestly said that I do not want to feel this year that I have buried coins or withheld a handful of seed from being sown. I have got to lock onto something and go for it.

I'm going to chase God on this and ask him for revelation regularly... but I'm also going to do my best to inspire growth in others. There are people who I should really be engaging in prayer with, people who can help me... who also need stirring up. I've not approached them because they don't appear to be in that place yet... but I think I need to start encouraging them to wake up and rediscover that place.

I also need to go to a few independent sources away from my own church or regular social circles... who can advise me. I know of one or two people I can go to, however there are a few regular readers on here who's thoughts and prayers I'd greatly appreciate. Even if you are normally a silent party... I want to hear your thoughts.

Nicholas means "victorious people". The 33rd year of my life is one that I intend to go out and claim a few victories.

In God's will, by God's grace and through God's strength.

London Redux

I'm off to London and other mystical destinations this weekend.

My journey begins in a couple of hours as I board the train on a mission for work. I'll be visiting an organization that is just across the road from Mi5 headquarters... so if you hear nothing from me for the next 28 days, you know what has happened - heh heh!

I'll be staying at my sisters and I have no idea what we'll be doing (although I'm reliably informed I'll be playing Lego on Saturday night). Mys sister and Ron are looking at moving to Egypt, so I suppose it's possible they'll want to take me round the Tutankhamun exhibition. I'm not sure how I'd feel around that. It's nothing to do with superstition... and I'm actually pretty keen on studying the culture and history of ancient civilizations... I just feel a bit bad about the manner in which his corpse was treated, when Howard Carter's team went about stripping artefacts from the tomb.

Keen as I am to study the past, I think we should treat what remains of our ancestors with respect, even though the soul has long gone. Yanking corpses apart to get to jewellery doesn't come under that.

Modern archaeology has changed a lot since the time of Carter... in fact, probably a lot because of him. The discoveries of the early Egyptologists inspired the evolution of modern archaeology. To me that is his greatest legacy - triggering a hunger and passion for knowledge... not collecting a pile of pretty trinkets. To me, knowledge and wisdom are of far greater value than gold, silver, rubies, diamonds and emeralds.

Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand;in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.

Proverbs 3:13-18

So back to London... and I guess I'm spoiled for choice as to what to do. If you are a regular/casual visitor here and you've looked at the general style of my blog, maybe you could suggest something. Truth be told, I'm most looking forward to Monday... as I'll be making an excursion out of the city to somewhere else of greater personal importance. However that is another tale, and it'll remain an Enigma for now. :-)

May God bless you and keep you safe wherever you are from and whatever you do with yourself this weekend.

Sacrifice

I've been absent from my blog for the past week, because to be honest... how do you follow news like that covered in my last post?

Now seems an appropriate time to reflect on other things, whilst still bearing in mind the events of the last week.

Today is Remembrance Sunday... the day when we traditionally call to mind the horrors of the last century's wars (and of course, more recent and even current conflicts). We think about those who laid down their lives, those who suffered due to the loss of loved ones, and those who came back and somehow tried to put the pieces of their lives back together in the aftermath of the harsh events they had witnessed.

For me remembrance is less about the war itself, and more about showing respect for people who had the courage, conviction and willingness to sacrifice their own lives (in life or in death), to preserve the freedoms and relative well being that I can experience in this country today. Today for the first time in my living memory, Alcester called out the names of men who had not died due to military conflict - the names off course, were the names of the firefighters: Ashley Stephens, Darren Yates-Badley, Iain Reid and John Averis. They may not have died to save their country from a foreign threat... but nobody, NOBODY can deny that the sacrifices they made in life and in death... preserved people's freedom and well being as well. How many people today enjoy liberty and life due to the work of those men... and for that matter all this world's fire, rescue and emergency workers? So it is all the more fitting that they also were remembered along with the war dead today (read more about their lives here).

Many of the tributes that have poured in to Alcester and indeed Stratford-upon-Avon over the past week, have included condolences from teams of firefighters in other nations. Most notably and poignantly among those, have been the words of the Firefighters of New York. They (and several others) quoted a passage from the Bible:

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

John 15:13

Those were Jesus words to his disciples. I am also reminded of something Paul wrote to the Romans:

"Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:7-8

So when I read of the sacrifices made by others... irrespective if it is with respect to the Christian faith, it always reminds me of the sacrifice Christ made for the salvation of mankind - you and me.

How then, should we respond to the sacrifices made for us... be it those of servicemen, the emergency services... or ultimately the sacrifice made by Christ for our redemption?

As I passed by the war memorial to look at the names inscribed on it... and at the wreaths, I also read one of the adjoining plaques... and the words (pictured below) resonated especially with me at this time:

Live as nobly as they died. It's a big ask isn't it? However, if we continue to live only shallow lives, do we not dishonour the sacrifices that all those people made on our behalf... in good faith?

Remaining on the theme of sacrifice, I'd like to conclude with an idea of what I believe from the Bible, is a good way to "live nobly" as the memorial suggests. It is the 12th chapter of Romans, the first section of which is fittingly entitled "Living Sacrifices":

Living Sacrifices

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Love

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Romans 12

We will remember...

To find out more about the work of The Royal British Legion and the Poppy Appeal, follow this link.

To find out how to write condolences for the Alcester and Stratford-upon-Avon firefighters or to donate funds towards the support of their loved ones, click this link to the Warwickshire Fire & Rescue Service.

Fire and Tears

This blog entry is dedicated to the brave firefighters who have been tackling the recent warehouse blaze at Atherstone... and the grievous aftermath that has followed. One fireman has died and three others remain missing after over 24 hours. Two of the four come from my hometown... which is understandably in a state of some shock. Alcester's firefighters are retained and not "full time".

If the worst case scenario proves to be reality, this will have been the worst loss of life in the fire service for over thirty years. It is a testimony to the skill, teamwork and dedication of our fire and rescue teams, that this figure has remained so low for so long; especially when you consider the quantity and frequency of call outs they receive... and the variety of hard situations they willingly put themselves into and jeopardise themselves on our behalf. None of this can be much comfort to the families, friends or colleagues of those men today; however it is important we recognise those sacrifices... and acknowledge the cost when it is high.

Police have described the fire as "suspicious" and it is being treated as an arson attack. An early witness report has suggested a possible suspect fled from amongst bushes not far from the scene. Search teams have been sent in...but the building is still extremely unstable and has not yet finished collapsing. It may take up to 36 hours to clear the scene and gather evidence... and more importantly to discover what happened to the other three firefighters (and for that matter anyone else who may possibly be in there).

My thoughts and prayers go out to those who are suffering as a consequence of the tragic events. The image below comes from one of the many tributes to the emergency services in the wake of 9/11. However, I think it is just as appropriate for this smaller local tragedy. We all need to support and pray for those who are prepared to risk their lives for us.

The Focus of Repentance

"Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge."

Psalm 51:4

The above words are taken from a famous biblical psalm that was written by King David after he was convicted by God with regard to his sin. Whilst I was at home group on Wednesday studying Ephesians 4, we were discussing repentance... and I was reminded of a truth about it, which I feel I should share.

Too often we focus on the things we have done wrong... we wallow in them and make it all about us. In a perverse way... is it possible that sometimes our "repentance" can be self centred?

Think about when you have let one of your friends and family down, or hurt or disappointed someone who is very important to you. At such times, which was more important to you? Making up for your actions... or restoring your relationship with the affected person?

I want to take you back to my blog of September 9th. During that time, I experienced a strong convicting sensation that I had let God down. It was knowing how much I had hurt God that enabled me to change a few things round for the better. I believe this is because neither myself, nor my previous actions were the focus in my repentance. I believe that God was.

This is therefore my encouragement to you. When you have been convicted of doing wrong, be mindful of your actions and repent of them... but do not concentrate on them. Concentrate your thoughts instead on the One you love... on God himself.

Being a Christian is not a matter of worshipping a distant, vague being... it's about engaging passionately in a relationship with God, through the saving power of Jesus. King David - who I quoted at the beginning, was described as a man after God's own heart. He didn't just follow a set of rules and regulations, or offer sacrifices and rituals to ease his conscience. He pursued a genuine relationship with God - whose thoughts and feelings really mattered to him... even when he could not understand them... or when they conflicted with his own actions and desires. When you read David's compositions in the Psalms, you see a man who is being brutally honest about himself and open with God. We need to be the same.

If you genuinely want to turn away from your sins, then you should invest in developing your relationship with God... because it his strength that enables us to walk in the paths of righteousness.

Maybe that sounds a little heavy... so here is a clip from The Empire Strikes Back, that I'll use to illustrate my point :

In the above clip, Luke fails to use the force to lift his spacecraft out of a swamp... he sees it in terms of it's size and his own ability. Yoda instead, simply focuses on the true source of strength inside and summons the ship out of the murky waters and onto dry land. Now I'm not suggesting for a minute that God is merely a "force". He is a real person. What I'm trying to illustrate, is that as Christians, if we look to ourselves too much... we aren't going to be tapping into God's infinite riches. It is God who takes away our sin and it is God who equips us with power from on high, to be able to perform mighty deeds in his service. Like Luke we need to stop trying and start believing.... and be God centred, not self centred... even and especially when know we have done wrong. If we continually look at how we have failed, instead of looking to Jesus Christ who gives us the victory over our sins... then we will continue to stumble.

My prayer is that God will enable every one of you to walk upright in his grace.

Called Forward

I've recently felt a call to start stepping forward a bit more.

It's quite a daunting prospect.

However I believe God is challenging me not to hide behind the shelter of other people's ideas and beliefs... no matter how much I respect and value them.

I believe he's stirring me up to be at least a little bolder and assertive about my own walk. I'm not the same as the people who I stand behind, I'm no less right or wrong than any of my brothers and sisters. I am not dependent on their approval... and I should know this by now. I have to be prepared to stand next to my own God given assertions and be accountable for them. I have done it here... and I need to learn to do it in the physical world.

That means not clamming up if someone I respect disagrees with my viewpoint. It doesn't mean I should be arrogant and ignore them... it does mean that I show a bit of courage in my own convictions, and not just those of others.

For the most part, this is about standing side by side and shoulder to shoulder with others - but I can see that in some instances it might require me to take a lead and I have started to do this in the small ways.

We all have people we look up to, but we have to remember that they have their own flaws... and our walk of faith is not an exact facsimile of those people. We make our own clearly defined steps towards the Father through Jesus, by the power of the Spirit.

In Homer's Iliad, you have the tragic story of Patroclus. He was the close companion of Achilles... and when Achilles went into a self imposed sulk and refused to fight... Patroclus recognising the Greek's need for a morale boost, donned Achilles armour and led an assault on Troy. The Greeks were inspired and went with him... until he was overcome and slain by Hector.

In the Bible, the young shepherd boy David saw the Philistine strongman - Goliath, and recognised the need to to inspire the Israelites to victory by taking him out of the equation. Nobody else would fight... and so King Saul reluctantly let David accept Goliath's challenge. Saul tried to equip David in his best armour... to give him a chance - but David rejected the offer and chose to use his slingshot instead.... and with a solid blow to the forehead from a single stone, Goliath - Israel's bogeyman... fell.

I wanted to use those two stories to illustrate a point. Patroclus was NOT Achilles... he could not fight the same way as Achilles and his attempt to impersonate his hero led to failure. Similarly, David was not King Saul - not by a long shot (sorry... I had to lighten this up with a terrible pun). However, David recognised this... but instead of trying to fight the battle Saul's way, he trusted in the gifts and talents God had entrusted to him... and he overcame.

Or if you are a comic book reader, there is the character of Nightwing. Batman and the original Robin went their separate ways... and so Dick Grayson found his own path and became a hero in his own right.

Similarly, there comes a time when we have to roll with God in our own manner. There's only one man we need to emulate and that is Jesus... who by his Spirit is within us. So I'm going to be confident in my own walk... and not remain stepping gingerly in the shadows of those I have respected. This is what I am being encouraged to do by God (with a little help from a few of his faithful servants - and if you are reading these words and suspect you are one of them then... yes you are - and I think you know that).

It's funny because in many ways it feels like the door is swinging the other way. How I perceive the world around me, even arguably compared to other Christians... could often be described as tangential... and in the past I've seen this as a hindrance. The people over there say it won't work, so it probably won't - there's more of them. Yet now the boulders I seemed to be tripping over, look a lot more like pebbles.

You know I reckon God's even chucked a couple down there himself to see how I react... or more likely to teach me how differently I am reacting to things that might have incapacitated me in the past.

So I'm not content to walk the path of others... and I don't want to go my own way... I want to walk the path God has set before me with confidence.

I pray you too can be filled with this confidence.

N.

Guerrilla Spirituality

"How can we sing the songs of the LORD while in a foreign land? If I forget you, O Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill . May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy." Psalm 137:4-6

For one reason or another, there has been a reduction of services at the church I attend... to the point where in all likelihood there will only be one service a month at a time I can attend.

This has made me start to think about where I'm going to go invest my time on Sundays a bit more. There's been a belief in my church that God would strip it right down... and then, in time, begin a revival... against all odds. Now it would appear we are in the time between times

Those of us who are affected the most have got some thinking to do.

One positive thing is that our home group may meet more frequently.

When it comes to Sundays though, I suspect we may for a time at least... take different paths.

No doubt, we will be encouraged to attend the main church in the "minster model"... that would be the church of St. Nicholas in my hometown. However, I feel that in my teenage years, God called me away from that place for various reasons. Now I do return on seldom occasions... and I dare say there is unfinished business there between us, but it's not a place for me to get spiritually fed on a regular basis.

Though I am saddened to lose the opportunity to worship regularly at a church I am familiar with... I believe the right thing for me to do is to get out there and go from church to church, learning from and having fellowship with friends who are in different places. I thrive on fellowship, I'm like a sponge... I soak up the moisture in my surroundings.... and I benefit a lot from being able to share what I have learned with others.

So I'm going guerrilla.

I'm going to use the home groups and what remains of services at my regular church as pit stops... and I'm going to move in, out and about other believers - drawing strength from their gifts and doing my best to return the favour with the gifts God has given me... as I begin to learn more about them.

Many would say this is unwise "you must be grounded in a regular church". However, Jesus moved about from town to town... and so did the apostles:

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." John 3:8

But I also must do my best not to forget the promises God has made... and that is why I copied the quote from Psalm 137 at the top of this post (that same passage was given to me, to help other people who felt dejected about some of the decisions that had been made).

When we were praying on Monday, I felt God put a passage on my heart... I felt it was for those of us gathered... but since that time, I've had a feeling there is particular significance for myself in it:

"If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people."

The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"

And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name." Deuteronomy 33:13-17

It's clear that wherever I go, I need to listen to God very closely... when he tells me to "go", I need to go. When he says "wait", I need to wait.

At the end of the day, if we are at all serious about discipleship... we have to be mindful of Jesus's response to the man who said they would follow him wherever he would go... and I'll leave you with that as a final challenge to ponder:

"When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go."
Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Matthew 8:18-20

Go Figure That One!

While I was away in the Lake District, I stumbled upon the following snippet of news:

Action figures face competition from talking Jesus doll next year.

Apparently this toy line (distributed by One2Believe), does pretty well for itself in America... but I find myself questioning - why? I can understand Christian parents wanting to buy their children edifying toys, playthings that foster the growth of the Gospel message in the hearts of their offspring; but is it really appropriate to use a Jesus figure to do it? Now of course, the obvious critical angle to come from would be the whole "not making idols or carved images" commandment, I accept that neither kids, nor parents would be "worshipping" the dolls as such... but the question remains.

Another question, is whether kids in their innocence, would play with the toys as the manufacturers or parents intended. Kids are great at imaginary play... they like making up stories with their toys and you never know quite what role the toys are going to play - the opening of Toy Story springs to mind as an example. The Guardian spoke about Jesus going head to head with Spider-Man in the shops... but is it that far a leap to imagine kids getting the Son of God duking it out with the web-slinger in their toy box? It works the other way too... when I was a child, I was told off by my dad for hanging my Action Man from the bath cruciform. So if a kid can use Action Man as Jesus, then surely it's just as easy for kids to use a Jesus doll like Action Man!

And looking at things a little lighter, what about toy abuse? I referenced Toy Story earlier... but imagine... what if a Jesus doll ended up in the hands of Sid??????

Oh the inhumanity! I can just see Sid, preparing to send Buzz Lightyear exploding off into the ionosphere when all of a sudden instead of Woody, the Jesus doll pipes up from the barbecue grill... "love your neighbour as yourself!" and then a similar scene to the one above unfolding - hilarious.

Going back to the original, more serious point I was making and I think my main reason for finding this more than a little tasteless is just that... well, the concept is just so tacky! I just find the idea of action dolls that are based on real life people too much. Just under 10 years ago, they started churning out Princess Diana doll which were equally in bad taste... and that in my opinion was definitely idolatrous.

I don't think this idea will take off as well in the UK as it has in the US, we think too differently to the Americans

I think action figures and dolls exist mainly for developing children's imaginations and their ability to play with others... I believe if parents want to engage with their children spiritually, they should do so through prayer and storytelling... genuine interaction with children - isn't that what good parenting involves?

A Sanctuary Century

My blog passed another milestone the other day.

If you look down below at the myriad of gadgets and lists down the right hand side, you will see I have become a multi-national stopping off point. I have finally managed to break into three figures with regard to the number of countries/regions that visit.

I just want to thank everyone who has come here whether that be as a result of regular visiting, random stumbling, or Governmental investigation.

To misquote Elwood Blues:

"I'm so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And I would especially like to welcome all the representatives of the world's law enforcement community who have chosen to join me here in Nick's Sanctuary at this time. I do sincerely hope you all enjoy the show, and please remember people that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive there are still some things that make us all the same. Me, you, them, everybody, everybody!"

So now this place is truly global... I'm going to have to hold an ambassador's reception and break out the Ferrero Rocher... complete with cheesy audio dubbing! :-)

Driven

Those of you who have been in the habit of visiting my blog on a regular basis, will be aware that I ran a monthly saga that eventually came to be known as Debtwatch. It was where I spoke openly about how I believed God had provided the opportunity, need and the desire for me to clear up the temporal effects of some of my past mistakes. By his grace, it took me less than a year.

It's been several months since I even touched upon the subject... I believe I paused only to mention that I had taken a breather and treated myself to a laptop.

However, I have not been idle. I have been working along a similar principle to try and save up for a car... as well as looking at more long term savings.

At the current time, I'm 3 months into my voyage of saving. I could probably afford a vehicle of some description now but it would undoubtedly be a:

So much as I'm dying to get out on the open road again... I think I'm going to have to be patient. This is really frustrating because there are people I want to meet, places I want to go... there are events in the calendar coming up that may well require me to be under my own steam if I am to help others... and at present I can't - the way is shut. To people questioning the environmental wisdom of me purchasing a car, I would caution that it's very easy to pontificate about the importance of public transport when you live in a metropolitan transport hub like London or Birmingham. Living in a small relatively rural market town does not offer me the same advantages. I have to travel 8 miles to access the nearest rail network... and direct trains are very hard to come by.

By my estimation, I think I'll probably be ready by the beginning of July (but then my money is in an ISA... so i may not be able to get to it before then anyway).

I'm looking at getting a car that's about 3 or 4 years old and is 1.4 litres or lower in cubic capacity. The budget I'm setting myself is approximately £3,500 - £4,000.

I reckon I'll be looking at something like a Ford KA:

... or a car in the same class. I don't need anything flash, just something that will get me from A to B without flying apart at the seams.

If you have an recommendations about make, model, specification - heck even colour (but not something crazy like "hot pink"), I'm fairly open minded.

I'm reminded of the time - several years ago, when a friend passed his driving test and we jokingly set up the P.P.B.V. (Pat's Porsche Benevolent Fund), in our youth fellowship's magazine (I was joint editor at the time). The project was a surprise success and we managed to raise the necessary funds...

...for a die cast model.

So I announce with some trepidation the launch of my new fundraising trust - S.A.I.N.T. (Society for Accumulation of Income for Nick's Transportation). I say with trepidation because this is the Internet... and there are probably some people out there who are crazy enough to actually contribute - I probably know half of them! ;-)