Expectation in Strife

I'm going through a funny time at the moment as you may well have perceived from earlier entries. I've felt largely deserted/neglected by other Christians and it's finally taken it's toll.

I am certain this has a lot to do with a season of oppression that is going round and so while my heart gets despondent sometimes, my heart of hearts tells me this will pass and to trust in God's strength and timing to help ride this out.

At church on Sunday God, while not allowing my problems to be solved with a magic wand.... did enough to reassure me that he is in this situation looking out for me. First of all I was given hope about my future role, where before there was only confusion and darkness. Nothing solid has materialised... but enough for me to realise I am valued by God and a few core people in that place.

Secondly in the service there were only six of us there... this gave us opportunity to pour our hearts out about things that were dragging us down in our faith. It was a time to be frank and honest and although I felt people were trying to answer away my issues to readily... the important thing was that I had addressed them openly.

Now onto my main reason for writing. During the service, the reading was from Mark 4:

That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"

It occurred to me that a lot of people overlook the fact that this happened fairly early on in Jesus ministry... at a time where he'd done just a handful of miracles - the like of which had been performed by other men empowered by God. It also occurred to me that we look at Jesus in retrospect having had the truth of his nature and who he is revealed to us.

The disciples at the time didn't have that. All they had was the knowledge that they walked with a wise man who was touched by God... they had no reason to expect him to do anything amazing to sort out their predicament. I believe when they woke him up... they weren't just in fear of losing their lives... they were angry. How dare he sleep while the rest of them were desperately bailing out water with their hands in a vain attempt to save the ship and their lives? I am pretty confident that when they woke Jesus they were demanding he join them in frantically scooping out handfuls of water.

It was because of who Jesus was... and the authority given to him, that he saw the situation from a totally different angle and treated it so differently. Firstly he was at peace because he knew the waves and wind didn't have authority to kill him. Secondly, he knew that he didn't need to be a busybody and merely bail water out with his hands. He knew that his Father was in control of that situation... and had empowered Him to resolve it by divine means.

Now as Christians we need to understand what God is saying here about the way we work out our faith daily. Firstly we need to trust patiently in God's timing and not worry about bailing out the water in our own effort. These things are sent to try us and stop us from resting God and spending time in his presence, if we let them dominate our actions then they succeed in their aims.

Secondly we need to get into the habit of responding in the right way to our hunger... be that one of personal need or desire for revival. Take the attitude of the widow from this parable for example:

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'

"For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "

And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

As I write these words, I am reminded of a springtime bird and her chicks. It is the young ones that cry out in their hunger and who persist in doing so that have the best chances of survival. It is they that get fed more often. We need to be like that. We need to respond to God when he feeds us... and when he seems quiet, we need to keep asking him to provide for us. When the mother bird returns to the nest to feed her young... will she find them faithfully crying out to her in their hunger? When God comes down to bless his people will he find us calling out to him... or will we be asleep?

A book I am hoping to purchase very soon is the autobiography "The Heavenly Man" by Brother Yun. This man lives under oppression in China... he has few of the things we take for granted in our faith. He did not have access to a Bible and none was forthcoming (you can't just pop to your local Christian bookshop and buy one there). He was told to pray for one.... so he did. Nothing came of it. After a while he spoke to the person who told him to pray for one... and they told him, he needed to pray with more urgency. The man went out, fasted and prayed on a rock for three months to the point where he had tears in his eyes. eventually there was a knock on the door and somebody passed him a red shopping bag in clandestine fashion... within the bag was the bible he had been praying for. Ironically the supplier had the bible ready to give from the very day Brother Yun started praying.... but had been unsure as to whether or not it was a trap... so like the prophet Daniel, it took dedication to bring the prayer's answer to fruition.

We put so much effort into achieving our Godly objectives in our own might... yet we expend our energy fruitlessly. Time and time again in scripture we see that God blesses those who let him have full involvement. Why can't we spend our energy in a more productive fashion and keep asking him with fervour?

I know in my situation that God will call people to account when the time is right, he won't let my ship go down.... sure it doesn't feel that way... but we have to keep believing and not pay attention to the odds.

I keep remembering a famous line from the Matrix:

Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?

Morpheus: No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.

We don't have to dance to the storms of life when we have a God who has authority over them.

We don't need to dodge bullets.

We need to redefine our understanding of the mechanics of spiritual physics.

Blessings

N

An Amnesty for Owen Hargreaves

Now is this post about football, my psychology or is it about faith? You decide.

Like many England football fans, I have for some time wondered why on Earth Sven has continually selected and utilised the midfielder Owen Hargreaves. He always seems to be brought on in place of more popular players who have been perceived as stronger... and I think this is where his problem has been.

I changed my opinion of him on Tuesday. I think he was helped by getting a start, instead of being substituted on for someone more established.

On a night where England were frightening in defence, Hargreaves stood out as one of the consistently better players.

More importantly I've now realised that in no way can I criticise him... for I'd be a hypocrite were I to continue doing so.

Like Hargreaves, time and time again, the people around me show so little faith in me. Most of them assign me tasks that don't reflect my gifting , my nature, my personality or my capabilities. I plug away at what I'm asked to do in the hope that people will recognise my value as a person.

When it comes down to the crunch... most people don't have a clue what to do with me and don't understand me... but those closest to me (probably numerically no more than the England Team itself), defend me... and my Manager (God) continually backs me up no matter what other people... even many Christians may say about my person.

The persecution of Hargreaves has for now abated... but give it two games and people will return to their scornful ways. I will not. I know how he feels. It's hard to be booed by your own supporters.

It's hard for me to speak and know that the only time men and women will listen to me is if the wind is blowing - when God uses divine intervention to get a message across through me. They make prejudicial assumptions about me, they treat me as less than equal and don't respect or value my opinions... either by just not listening to them and sweeping them under the carpet... or worse by ridiculing them.

What I would give to walk shoulder to shoulder with my brothers and sisters without them thinking of as just making up the numbers. What I would give for them to acknowledge me as an equal... instead I often feel they behave like the Greek gods of myth, treating me as a mortal beneath them and dabbling in my destiny at their own discretion. Whatever their motivation - good or bad, it's not their right to do this. One of the Proverbs says:

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."

It's about the sovereignty of God. We make our choices for our own lives, but God has the ultimate say in where they lead us. Now, if we cannot even determine where our own spiritual travels will take us... what right do any of us have to interfere in another believer's journey?

I know I'm coming across as quite negative here, and a lot of that is due to an air of oppression that exists at this time, but I wanted to express just how fed up I get sometimes of the one way traffic... I have to vent it sometimes.

I keep thinking of a line the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling:

"If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too"

... and I keep thinking that this is something I have to do every day. In the past I only trusted God... not even myself. As I have grown in confidence, I have learned to accept that I can trust myself too... so long as I keep pace with God. However, this is something that is yet to translate to other people... they still see the buffoon. The worst of those people who are blinded are the ones who claim that they can see.

Sometimes I do wonder if it's my lot in life to only be listened to at divine intersections. After all it's the message that is important and not the messenger... but I can't accept this, I don't see why I can't be embraced by other Christians. I admit I've desired distance in the past... but it is a painful irony now, that having learned from my past... I am now kept at arms length by the people who should be one with me.

Maybe I am the Lone Ranger after all.

Anyway whatever the case may be, you won't find me pouring unfair criticism on Owen Hargreaves... I know the road he walks... and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else.

Comfort Zone Christianity

In some of my recent posts, I have fiercely attacked Christian attitudes towards socialising, I've been incredibly fed up with the treatment I've received from some Christian quarters lately. However, I recently came a cross a couple of interesting passages:

"On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit."
So when they met together, they asked him, "Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?"

He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight.
They were looking intently up into the sky as he was going, when suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them. "Men of Galilee," they said, "why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven."" Acts 1:4-11

This is very similar to the great commission and as you know, as soon as the Holy Spirit was poured out... the apostles set off on their jolly way preaching the word in foreign lands... right?

Wrong.

For a while at least, the apostles focused their activities in Judea alone... that is until something happened. A man named Stephen went before the Sanhedrin and told it exactly like it was. From a worldly perspective he was incredibly foolish... like walking into a dragon's den and ringing a bell very loudly. In the world's eyes, it ended badly for Stephen, he lost his life under a hail of stones for being honest about his relationship with God. However, God's wisdom often appears foolish to our simple eyes. You see what happens to Stephen becomes the catalyst for a change in the Church's activities:

"On that day a great persecution broke out against the church at Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria. Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him. But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off men and women and put them in prison. Those who had been scattered preached the word wherever they went. Philip went down to a city in Samaria and proclaimed the Christ there. When the crowds heard Philip and saw the miraculous signs he did, they all paid close attention to what he said. With shrieks, evil spirits came out of many, and many paralytics and cripples were healed. So there was great joy in that city."

When Stephen dies, the first wave of real persecution begins. There had been troubles before... the apostles had earlier been locked up... but now there was an obvious physical oppression against the whole community of believers... and many of them ran to the four winds taking God's message with them.

Why I think this is interesting is that these men and women of faith clearly had the Holy Spirit... and yet it took more than the power and conviction given and available to them to persuade them to spread their wings and leave the nest.

They needed a push from God.

So I take encouragement... it's not just us, the early Christians also needed to be stirred into action at the start. I am reminded of a vision I received several years ago where I saw a great eagle stripping it's nest so that it's young could fly. I am also reminded of the passage people at church were given a couple of years after that - where John the Baptist describes Jesus:

"His winnowing fork is in his hand to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his barn, but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire." Luke 3:17

My purpose in writing this evening is twofold. Firstly I wish to encourage the people in Britain that revival will come, the Holy Spirit will be poured out again and we will see the sovereignty of God do amazing things. However, this comes with a stark warning. When God empowers His people to go forward with His message... He will also take us out of our comfort zone. So, make the most of the Christian "social circles" while you still can... because if we do not heed God's gentle call for us to go out and meet the people where they are (not just coldly evangelise but speak with real compassion and interest of who they are and where they are at), then we should not be surprised if he removes the structures that make us too secure.

This is the way of things. Young eagles don't desire to leave the nest for the first time... but when they are ready and the wind blows... they must do what they are designed to do... not just sit chatting to the other eaglets in the nest with them. It's the same with us... when the wind blows we go.

This is both what we were called to and designed for.

Blessings


Nick

The Journey Begins

This is it...

Today marks the day when England go into battle for the first time in the Germany 2006 World Cup campaign. Good luck to the lads. I'm with you all the way.

There are many parallels between spirituality and football... many dead churches could learn a great deal from the atmosphere you see at a football ground. The average footie match resounds with the bellowing of thousands of grown men... largely tone deaf... who rally their team no matter the weather, no matter the odds. The average church service or Songs of Praise can often by contrast be sanitised and half hearted. We need to get the same passion for God as a football supporter has for his team... even more than this!!!

Recently I've understood that supporting England in football is very much like supporting England in Church. You read about all the great revivals and wonders from the past... the Early Church, the Great Revival, the Celtic revivals, the Hebridean revival... to name just the ones relevant to my nation... and you yearn to see that in your lifetime. It's not all that different to the hopes we pin on England. All my life I've heard the nostalgia of 1966 and England's great World Cup victory over Germany... and yet we've never seen it in my time. not only this, but the constant frustration of ebb and flow... England get so far and then have it snatched away by a a quirk of fate... the Church stirs so much and the smell of blossom fills the air and then God calls a halt to the season... often without any obvious reason to our mortal eyes.

Yet we keep on believing in England... and we keep on believing God will restore this nation. I am ever hopeful of the former and entirely convinced of the latter.

So, in both matters spiritual and footballing I cry out:

"God for Harry, England and St. George!!!!"