Lost - Channel 4

I've recently been hooked on the latest television sensation to grace our screens from America (they do produce a heck of a lot of bad TV, but this one seems pretty well written).

It is set on an island where a group of airline passengers have crash landed. Their backgrounds are as shrouded in mystery as the secrets of the island itself. Each episode so far has brought about surprising revelations. There is some kind of "monster" that stalks the island.

It's the kind of show where you build theories and then have to change them as the plot thickens, which I love. It's good for the brain... you have to use it to enjoy the show.

Locke, is by far my favourite character to date. Apart from the fact he seems to have a mysterious anthropomorphic relationship with the island itself, this week we discovered before being stranded on the island... he was wheelchair bound; yet now he runs about like a commando.

One theory that is popular at the moment, is that they are all dead... and the island is actually purgatory. Although as a Christian I cannot subscribe to the theology of purgatory (something I may speak about soon), the scenario would make sense.

I think their are influences of Shakespeare's "Tempest" and the film "Forbidden Planet" in the show too. In the latter there were also invisible monsters known as "Monster's from the Id". In psychology, the Id is our baser nature, our animal instincts... what would lead us to kill or act solely on passion without moral or ethical restraint. Our ego and super ego counterbalance and override this. Anyway in the film, the Id monsters are manifestations of a character's Id... I think this is what is going on in Lost too! Again, it would fit the purgatory idea. One of the key themes, is that life on the island is a blank slate/second chance. If they had to make payment for the less savoury parts of themselves, what better way then to be forced to confront a manifestation of it? In Wednesday's episode, Locke faces one... and survives, nobody else who has messed with one has.

That episode was called "Walkabout". Walkabout is a kind of aboriginal pilgrimage where the participants get in touch with nature. However, it is more than that... on walkabout you are supposed to "meet yourself" as well. So that fits with my Id theory. Locke met his own negativity and somehow overcame it.

There was an English philosopher who shared his name "John Locke". He believed firmly that every man had the right to pursue his own liberty and happiness and that the state should only have so much sovereignty in our lives. He advocated rebellion, if a Government was corrupt. His writings, after his death are said to have influenced both the French and American revolutions. The pursuit of liberty fits Lost's Locke as well. Despite the limitations of a wheelchair, he wanted to go on a Walkabout holiday. They wouldn't let him. He argued "Don't tell me what I can't do!" (which is probably a reason why I like him... he hates the idea that mortal men can constrain him from attaining his goals in life, and resists their attempts to do so). Some have argued that Locke the philosopher was not overly keen on imagination and passion (arguing that the former separated people from reality and the latter led people to act without morality). That would be ironic, because if the island in Lost is a fantasy, then the character John Locke is embracing the imaginary and passionate on it.

But in two weeks time my opinion could be totally different, what do you think about what I have come up with so far.

Let me know your theories if you watch the show yourself!

Farewell to Tonic

Tonic, our cat... brother of Gin... died yesterday. He had been having a little trouble breathing for some time, but it had got to the point where he could not curl up anymore, and he was sleeping outside at night, because the air was fresher.

Dad took him in for an X Ray in the morning, and we waited... hoping that it would just be a build up of fluids. It was not to be. Unfortunately he had a growth, the size of a golf ball on one of his lungs. As Tonic was still heavily sedated, the vet called Dad at work and asked for permission to put him to sleep there and then (there was nothing that could be done and it would have been cruel to let him come round... just so that he could be finished off later). Dad agreed, and Tonic: mighty hunter of birds, rodents and bats... now rests with his fathers.

I shall miss him. I said goodbye to him in the morning (just in case) and told him, not to worry because God would look after him if anything happened. Trust me, he knew his time was up, both of the cats knew. Ginny had been grooming him all week, and that wasn't normal... he usually wouldn't stand for much of that. Also, Tonic hated the vets, the mere sight of a basket would send him into a frenzy; yet, when dad brought the basket round yesterday Tonic serenely allowed him to lift him inside... with no fuss whatsoever. I think he knew his journey in life was nearing it's end... and he was ready to go... there was no fear, just a calm acceptance... time to go home. Animals seem to be more in tune with that sort of thing than we are.

Anyway, I thought I'd share a couple of my best memories of him.

He always used to sit on the doorstep and wait for me and dad to come home. Once , when he was relatively young... I had just come home from a weekend break... and I felt a searing pain in my leg, back and shoulder.... Tonic had run up the entire length of me and sat on my shoulder. He was also an outrageous fiend! He used to go round all the neighbour's houses, eat any of their pet's food and sleep in their beds. He totally lived the life of Riley! He was a complete bounder!

Ginny has always been the more nervy cat, bolting around loud noises or surprises... but it was always Tonic who suffered for things, despite being laid back. In his time, he was knocked down by a Land Rover... fracturing his leg and jaw, jumped off a roof to escape a massive, violent cat that hadn't been neutered... spraining his leg badly in the process; but by far, his most bizarre injury was in the late summer of one year. Somehow, he had managed to sniff up a seed... and it had taken root in the lining deep inside his left nostril. We only noticed it when it had grown long enough out of his nose for us to see, by which time he was incredibly irritable... poor blighter. The vet nearly had to resort to cutting his nose open to get at it, but fortunately after several attempts with the forceps... she managed to get the thing out of him. It was an inch and a half in length altogether!

He was always bringing something in that he had caught. He used to sit on the garage roof and swat down bats. One night, he even sat beneath a tree eyeing up an owl for supper (didn't give a second thought to the idea the owl might have been doing the very same thing to him!) Once he brought in a pigeon... nothing spectacular in that you might think, but when we took it off him and binned it, back he came two minutes later with another. This circle of events repeated several times until someone tracked him to a neighbour's house. The neighbour had been killing pigeons and had a utility truck full of their corpses! That, to a cat has to be the ultimate meal ticket!

So those are a few glimpses into the life and times of Tonic. It's better to remember him as he was, than to dwell on the last few days of his suffering.

Forward Momentum

Well this IS interesting. I think God is actually giving me directions with regard to the relationship area of my life. Do you remember me quoting a scripture the other day? It was this one (quoted in part this time):

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

Initially, I just thought that was a rebuke and about God convicting me with regard to the past, but now see that it is as much about where I am going, as where I have been. It was not just a warning... it was so much more than that, it was an ENCOURAGEMENT. Then there was the scripture I quoted the other day, with regard to giving stuff to The Lord:

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty. "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the LORD Almighty."

And now, in my bible notes today I came across this in Ecclesiastes, which some people think is a depressing book but which has encouraged me:

Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again. Give portions to seven, yes to eight, for you do not know what disaster may come upon the land. If clouds are full of water, they pour rain upon the earth. Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north, in the place where it falls, there will it lie. Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.

Casting your bread into waters is about not playing safe (it refers to sea traders who risk the stormy seas to make a profit trading bread). I've also just realised the last bit of that passage is what I was saying the other day about "acorns". Mad huh? I'm in tune with Solomon. God must have flicked a switch I guess!

So what you may ask, am I to do? It's quite simple... I believe God is asking me to help out others in the area of relationships... if someone has a girlfriend miles away and cannot see them for some time.... I'm going to take them... I'm going to try and encourage people who seem right together, to talk. I'm going to lift the spirits of the broken hearted by the grace of God. I'm going to give more readily in matters of the heart... and in doing so, I will break the curse of my youth. When I was but a toddler, I scalded myself. the nurse said it would make me more introverted and less of a risk taker. That now MUST change, and by the will and grace of God it will! Time to leave the valley of broken dreams. It is time to fly and if I should come crashing down once more, this time I will pick up the people I find I crashed among too!

Lets see where this road leads!

N

Keith Green

Now do I put this under faith or do I put it under music?

During my time at the Maze, we used a track by an artist called Keith Green in one of the small group sessions. His ministry ran from the late 70's to the early 80's. We were worried that it might seem a little dated to the young people. The track was a live performance of a praise song based on Psalm 51, called "Create in me a Clean Heart". Listening to him on that recording, you can tell that he's totally lost in worship of the Lord... it is very moving. Some of the young people have become involved in a discussion about him on the message board, and having seen a brief mention of his name in Gerry's last post... I thought maybe I was being prompted to share what little I know of him:

What I do know of him, was that he was a Christian artist, a musician gifted by God... that his influence was significant enough for the legendary Bob Dylan to hang out with him for a time. One of the most important things about his ministry was that he refused to charge people entry fee's for his concerts and insisted that there was no obligation on people to pay for his albums if they wanted to hear the music. He had quite a long running feud with Christian bookshops and record companies over that, in the end it was resolved so that shops could charge for his recording, so long as there was a sticker on the album that said in large letters "If you genuinely can't afford this music, please contact us at *** and we will tell you how you can get a copy for free".

He was so passionate about not charging people for the right to hear the Gospel through music, that when he recorded "Create in Me A Clean Heart", he credited King David as the writer.... so there were no copyright obligations (nice move)

Sadly, he died when I was still a boy... just as his material was gaining mainstream appeal. I heard that on the day of his funeral, there was a terrible thunderstorm above his estate... but nowhere else in the area. I find it amazing that he refused to charge people entry for concerts. How cool is that? Can you only imagine how influential someone with that same vision was raised up by God today would be? If Keith Green were alive today, I'd be willing to bet he would have a website allowing free downloads of "his" material (though rightly he acknowledged God as the source). The Gospel as expressed in music form would spread like wildfire. I believe this is a strong challenge to christian artists of today, many of them jealously guard copyright. Don't get me wrong, I acknowledge they have a right to remuneration for their calling... but I believe their ministries could be more effective if they would be prepared to make similar sacrifices.

It's worth noting that despite Mr Green's insistence on giving his music away, God still blessed his brief ministry... and he prospered anyway.

To any budding Christian musicians out there, please read this (not as condemnation but as encouragement), from Malachi 3:8-12, I've emphasised and double emphasised that which is jumping out at me most as I write this to you, it goes back yet again to Proverbs 3... trusting in The LORD with all of our heart and not leaning on our own understanding:

"Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. "But you ask, 'How do we rob you?' "In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse—the whole nation of you—because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty. "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the LORD Almighty."

You can learn more about Keith Green here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Green or here: http://www.kennycarter.net/KeithGreen.htm

Taking Stock

Recently I've run the full spectrum of emotions in my walk with God. I've been happy, miserable, calm, angry, depressed, elated, full of hope, full of despair, in turmoil and at peace.

I was incredibly frustrated because despite being obedient in one situation and repentant in another, he still didn't seem to budge. It was like "what do I have to do to persuade you I need you to act on my behalf?"

When I get upset if I think a friend or superior is being too hard on me or asking too much of me, I tend to react by working all the harder something like "if by doing more than you expect I crack up or reach breaking point, you were the one who caused it, so you can pick up the pieces of your broken friend". I've learned through this, that sadly I can be a bit like that with God too... and that is not a good thing, it's something I need to be mindful of and change the way I work.

I went out to a bridge where I occasionally go to think... and hammered out a few things in prayer. So if you saw a strange man in black standing above the A46/A435 Arrow roundabout at 10pm last night... that was me! when I woke up this morning I felt a lot more calmer and rational. I'm not as agitated or anxious about my current situation as I was. In fact I have this feeling that whatever God is going to do with regard to his assurances to me... something is going to happen soon. The word SOON keeps resonating within me, so I live in hope.

As you know, at the Maze we were studying the wisdom literature of the Bible... and crazy as it may seem, I feel like I've been living out the books in my lifestyle. Hopefully I'm nearing the end of my Ecclesiastes phase now and can move on.

At the Maze, one think that stayed with me more was the three H's... the need to be HUMAN, HONEST and HUMBLE in our response/dialogue with God. Well I've certainly been doing that lately. Honestly though people, if you are in a situation and you are angry or depressed... even if it's with God.... take it to Him, it does you good to unload it at his feet. Just be respectful of who he is when you do it. Yes you may feel unfairly treated, yes you may think life is cruel... but always remember that God is righteous and whatever he is doing... in the final analysis or the bigger picture - whatever you wish to call it, his will is perfect and he will do right by you.

Call on him.

Nick

God Remembers

That sounds a little odd doesn't it? Does God forget people? However, when the Bible talks about God remembering someone... it's not that he forgot they were there, it just means that he returns to someone with special compassion and concern... after leaving them in a particular situation.

I am hoping that this is what God is working in me at the moment. I've struggled long and hard at the bottom of a cistern, waiting to be rescued! I talked through the Proverbs scripture I've been wrestling with, with a leader at church... and got it prayed over.

We covered the ground where Rachel was frustrated by her barrenness... and God "remembers" her later and when the time is right she is blessed with Joseph. Similarly God "remembers" Noah, just before the flood (good job really).

I realised this morning that despite forgiving the person who hurt me a while back, I had not told them... instead I had completely ignored them. I feel that God was challenging that stance I had taken this morning. A scripture was on my heart, specifically the bit in bold:

""Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
He also told them this parable: "Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher.
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

I realised that just because I'm not comfortable around someone because of what they did to me, and don't wish to be close to them again; it gives me no excuse to blank them out of everything.

Lately I've been worried that somebody I have discovered feelings for, is not talking to me... and I don't know why. Yet how can I expect them to talk to me, if I myself am not prepared to talk? How dare I have the audacity to moan to God that someone is silent with regard to me.... if I myself am silent to another. Repentance comes before revival, both personally and nationally, so I knew i had to act.... whether I be blessed or not... righteousness requires me to settle my accounts peaceably.

I sent a text today, to acknowledge and thank the person who hurt me for sending back my borrowed belongings, to forgive them for the pain they caused... to apologise for my silence... and to say that I needed to remain distant, but not that I intended to be ignorant.

I don't know if God is going to help me out in my specific circumstance but I can only trust in him. It was weird that the Bible verse today was on Joseph... because that's largely where I feel I am. Having received promises and visions for the future... I find myself stuck in a cistern wondering how God will get me out of the pickle.

I'm waiting God... please answer.... remember me.

As David would say.... "Come Quickly Lord."

Letting Go of Your Acorn

Every time you fall in love, or are attracted to someone... you hold in your hands an acorn. It's all too tempting to hold on to what you have and treasure the beauty of it... but then it becomes something else, something not really genuine.

That is not why acorns exist, or why we have these emotions. To plant an acorn is to risk the loss of the acorn, for the possible promise of a tree. It may be eaten, or it may wither or rot... that's the chance you take. You may have your love taken away or it may fade. You may feel like you are useless at this game because every time you have planted an acorn it has failed to bud.

Don't give up!

Persistence pays off when it is coupled with patience, I've failed many a time, but I won't give in. I used to hang on to what I had, but now I know that I must be brave and take my chances while I have them. It's all in Ecclesiastes, live your life to the max (but do it in accordance with God's will).

All you can do is plant your acorn and do your best to make sure it is in fertile soil. Pay attention to the one you love, don't neglect them, feed them enough, but do not drown them. Protect them. The rest if it is God's will for you, will attend to itself.

Don't keep it all inside. Carpe Diem. Sieze the moment. Reach out and touch someone.

God bless

Nick

Letting Go of Your Acorn

Every time you fall in love, or are attracted to someone... you hold in your hands an acorn. It's all too tempting to hold on to what you have and treasure the beauty of it... but then it becomes something else, something not really genuine.

That is not why acorns exist, or why we have these emotions. To plant an acorn is to risk the loss of the acorn, for the possible promise of a tree. It may be eaten, or it may wither or rot... that's the chance you take. You may have your love taken away or it may fade. You may feel like you are useless at this game because every time you have planted an acorn it has failed to bud.

Don't give up!

Persistence pays off when it is coupled with patience, I've failed many a time, but I won't give in. I used to hang on to what I had, but now I know that I must be brave and take my chances while I have them. It's all in Ecclesiastes, live your life to the max (but do it in accordance with God's will).

All you can do is plant your acorn and do your best to make sure it is in fertile soil. Pay attention to the one you love, don't neglect them, feed them enough, but do not drown them. Protect them. The rest if it is God's will for you, will attend to itself.

Don't keep it all inside. Carpe Diem. Sieze the moment. Reach out and touch someone.

God bless

Nick

Where Do I Go Now?

Very recently I have struggled with a situation that has burdened me greatly. Very recently I've grown fond of someone, but because of trying to stay faithful to the Lord... I did not act upon it. That totally tore me in two. I was involved in an activity that meant being focussed on God, and that means it's inappropriate to use that time to further other agendas... at least that is what it means for me.

On Friday I was in a worship session and I was quite literally reduced to tears as God hit me with a Bible verse...

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12

The first part of that sentence cut me deep, because that is EXACTLY how I have felt for months. I think God was helping me express my feelings on this matter.

I was especially moved, because I had suffered by holding back. I think God was acknowledging this and speaking to my heart.

However, now the context is appropriate... I want to try and press on. How do I do this? How can I reconnect and tell her I'd like to go out for a drink or something... totally out of the blue?

I'm really stuck now, she is a reasonable distance away, I have no obvious reason to call up. My only choices are to trust in the prayers of myself and my friends. Maybe it was just a test and God has someone better out there for me... who knows? All I know is I would bend over backwards, move Heaven and Earth if it were in my authority... just to reach out and embrace the slightest chink of warm daylight from her... just to taste a little fulfillment in my hopes.

However, it's not in my authority... it's in God's. The one thing I won't do (or at least don't INTEND to do), is disobey Him with respect to this.

I looked up the proverbs verse in the amplified version of the bible, it read like this:

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12

That version gives me the most encouragement because it draws a connection between the deferred hope and the fulfilled desire. One way or the other I have faith that god is going to bless this area of my life. How - I don't know, when - I don't know, who - I don't know (but I do wish with all my heart at present it's the same person, they are both faithful to God and a joy to behold).

God is good. What will he do?

The Maze Scripure Union Camp 2005

Well, I just got back from The Maze SU Holiday Camp. I feel reasonably recovered now.

I had a good time, a blessed time and a hard time, despite the latter, it was most excellent and I have no regrets. The most intense day for me by far was Wednesday, when I was involved in most of the activities. I had my usual small group meeting in the morning, and then I played ultimate Frisbee with the young people (dressed as a native American), Wednesday was Time Travel Day. Most of the leaders and some of the young people dressed as characters from history, at my request as I was organising it. In the afternoon we played some time travel games. The first of which I got Jenni to look after... a guess the leader from their childhood photographs! The second game was more physical...everybody wore 1 touch rugby tags, and had to get to one of four time bases when I called out a code phrase. We had about 6 leaders in the middle of the field acting as "daleks". The young people seriously seemed to enjoy it which encouraged me. I then went into the main town dressed in full costume and war paint, to help get some material for later... that was a laugh! Later that night I preached on Psalm 51, and it seemed to be taken in well. Finally I was on night duty. so as you can imagine I was pretty wiped out.

The team really felt like family to me, and I totally miss them all. I also miss the young people. It was moving to see so many people among both groups being broken/challenged/comforted by God... I include myself in that equation. I made new friendships and strengthened older ones. I saw God moving and was very encouraged. The weeks theme was YZ and was based on the wisdom literature in the bible YZ=Wise geddit?

I thoroughly recommend you have a good read of them at some point. The Psalms are some of the most beautifully honest emotive dialogues with God you will find. The Proverbs are full of wise thoughts. Ecclesiastes is very good at analysing the futility of striving on this Earth without looking at things in the right perspective (with god at the centre and above all things). Song of Songs is wildly passionate, but always respectful of the foundation stones of true marriage, it also sees virginity as something to be protected and honoured until the time is right. Finally Job... a good exploration of where God is in suffering. What I find amazing, is that Job's friends at first said nothing when he came to them destroyed, distraught and covered in sores... instead they sat in silence and mourned with him for days. How often are we like that? Isn't it normally in our nature to try and shoot off advice at the earliest opening instead?

Anyway, there's a few thoughts for you. In a short while I will share my recent spiritual experiences with regard to relationships with you.

N